Stories by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

Out of the closet: It’s us against our stuff

Thursday, November 18, 2004

I think I want to move.
Oh sure, I love the house, the property, the neighborhood, and the schools. All our friends are here and the dogs finally learned how to strew the trash about the yard in the most efficient manner.

Pillow talk: In pursuit of bedded bliss

Thursday, November 11, 2004

I had no idea so much was riding on my mattress.
That is, until the down comforter on our bed sprang a leak.

Daylight saved is daylight earned

Thursday, November 4, 2004

Ask any three adults you know, I’m talking even the brilliant, highly educated ones. The ones who can’t even match their shoes or tuck in their shirts, they are that smart.

Speaking out on verbal abuse

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
Speak for yourself pal. Words, when abused, give me a screaming headache.

Gift anxiety: Present and accounted for

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Let me be the first to gleefully – and with a certain amount of malice – point out to you that there are only 63 shopping days left until Christmas.

Adding insult to incarceration

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Talk about adding insult to incarceration.
Martha Stewart has been sentenced to serve her time at the federal prison in Alderson, W.

Sticks, stones and sharp words

Thursday, October 7, 2004

(Authors note: Names and locations have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent and any resemblance to anyone living or annoying is purely coincidental.

Storms of stupidity

Thursday, September 30, 2004

There has been a lot of talk lately about how any number of things are making Americans look bad.
Reality TV, bare midriffs in church, our lack of respect for other cultures, and the presidential election just to name a few.

Give me ketchup or give me death

Thursday, September 23, 2004

I often dreamed that once I packed my youngest child off to kindergarten, I would be free to indulge in some “me” time and become one of the much heralded “ladies who lunch.

True confessions of a First World girl

Thursday, September 16, 2004

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. Recently, my electronic planner froze up, causing me lose track of every appointment, assignment, and crucial coffee date I may have scheduled for the next six weeks.

Life Out Loud: Replaced, rejected, retired

Thursday, September 9, 2004

The most dedicated servant is always the last to see the layoff coming.
One minute, you think you have the utmost in job security.

Celebrity wedding survival guide

Thursday, September 2, 2004

Traditionalists who believe that marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman are undoubtedly heartened by the knowledge that America’s reigning queen of overexposed celebrity, Jennifer Lopez, walked down the aisle this summer for the third time.

Pride and prejudice: Geography as destiny

Thursday, August 26, 2004

In the heartland of this great nation, we’ve apparently all entered the Witness Protection Program. Our exact locations must remain a closely guarded secret.

Back to school has mom losing her cool

Thursday, August 12, 2004

It seems that our nation’s retailers and I have come to a complete and utter impasse as to what “back to school” entails.

Sowing my wild popcorn

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Columnist Kymberly Foster Seabolt does the unthinkable.

Cheer on! It’s darned hard work

Thursday, August 5, 2004

Columnist Kymberly Foster Seabolt realizes her daughter was born to cheer.

Parents enjoy life after kids’ bedtime

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Columnist Kymberly Foster Seabolt discovered the bliss of sending the kids to bed early. Every night.

Trendy pets: What happened to pet rocks?

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Columnist Kymberly Foster Seabolt wonders what some people are thinking when they pick out a pet.

Poor ol’ mini me

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Columnist Kymberly Foster Seabolt laments over things getting smaller.

Throwing in the trowel

Thursday, July 8, 2004

Columnist Kymberly Foster Seabolt is garden zoned-out.

eNewsletter

Get our Top Stories in Your Inbox

About Kymberly

Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.