Stories by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.

Bad Friday

Thursday, December 20, 2012 by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

We had a particularly bad Friday morning here. A book bag was dropped, lunch was forgot, and by the time we reached the school all three of us were at each other’s throats full of bickering and blame for how the morning had spun so out of control. Taking a deep breath, I wished them [...]

Elves gone wild

Thursday, December 13, 2012 by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

Sometimes I’m just glad my kids are old enough that I can still fake being an adequate parent with a minimum of effort. At 13 and 15 they are still willing participants in the magic of Christmas gifting, albeit with a wink and a nod. To bring about Christmas magic I need only bake the [...]

Renovation amnesia

Thursday, December 6, 2012 by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

When we saw this Grande Dame of a house it was love at first sight. Three stories, original woodwork, pocket doors, soaring ceilings, a front and back staircase! Such charm! I knew what I was getting into in that way that mountain climbers think “oh this hike will be fun and we should be home [...]

I’m making that list

Thursday, November 29, 2012 by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

The official season of giving of gifts is upon us. This is embraced by the people who are gifted at giving. Their gifts are always creative, thoughtful and perfectly tailored to meet the needs of the recipient. I am not those people. I am the person who causes those people crushing disappointment when their lovingly [...]

Hitting the wall

Wednesday, November 21, 2012 by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

If more home renovation products were catered I think things would go much more smoothly. Why is it that in the pursuit of better living — or at least working plumbing — we first have to live in squalor? In the past week we have been tearing up our bathroom (and everything even remotely connected [...]

Peeling the layers of hearts, horror and remodeling

Thursday, November 15, 2012 by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

When it became apparent that we had no choice but to renovate the bathroom in our 108-year-old house, I had the same sensation you get when any idiot in a horror movie hears a strange noise and decides that the best course of action would be to “go investigate.” My entire being was screaming “No! [...]

Halloween boo (hoo)

Thursday, November 8, 2012 by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

This Halloween was the first in 15 Halloweens that I had no little ones to force into a ridiculous costume and cart around town. The fact that it is 40 degrees and raining seems a special gift to make me feel a whole lot better about missing out this year. Still, it’s difficult for me [...]

Counting blessings and counting candles

Thursday, November 1, 2012 by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?” – Satchel Page It’s an interesting question and one I know the answer to instantly. I would be 28. 28. Twenty-eight was a very busy, very wonderful year. Sure we were close to broke (that’s always cuter in hindsight than it is [...]

Hoarder on wheels

Thursday, October 25, 2012 by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

“You know those people who get lost in the mountains and have to live on ice for three days? That will never be you, you have a buffet in the back of your car.” This came from a friend after she was unwittingly exposed to the interior of my vehicle. I’m not offended because she’s [...]

She’s come undone

Thursday, October 18, 2012 by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

It has come to my attention after 16 years in residence in this particular old house, I can no longer refer to any project we undertook in the pursuit of making our home habitable (and they are many) as “done.” Old I am shocked at the rapid decay of our upstairs bath, namely because we [...]