Stories by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

When the party’s over

Thursday, July 30, 2009

My son, at 12, is no longer a willing wearer of a pointy party hat. He has no need for noisemakers. No yen for a piñata. We gave up goodie bags a few years ago, too. Gave up on games I gave up trying to plan party games when I realized I was pulling kids […]

How Not to Get Beat Up At The Movies 101

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I am a nice person. I get through most days fairly happy and not generally spoiling for a fight. I just want that on the record. Still, there are simply times when a person has just had enough. Lately, I’ve become aware that there are a few folks who could be helped by a primer […]

Childhood: Unplugged and unclean

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Our son, at 12, is back from the wild. He has returned from a week at Boy Scout camp. He went off with big plans, a big grin and a “Class A” uniform thrown over his shoulder. I waved good-bye until the van was just a dot in the distance. Forms The decision to send […]

Grade school graduation just the beginning

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Ah June — the hum of valedictory speeches is in the air and mortarboards take flight. We have been invited to celebrate this auspicious milestone with a number of high school graduates this year. Mixed feelings I imagine the parents of all these high school graduates are both thrilled and somewhat confused. Where is that […]

Life, death and to bee or not to bee

Thursday, June 25, 2009

One of the many charming aspects of living in an old house is that you are never truly alone. Never alone Oh sure, I might be the only HUMAN at home, the dogs outside and the cat ignoring me, but I have the sense that I am never really without companions. Once or twice a […]

‘I do.’ Marriage advice from pros

Friday, June 19, 2009

‘Tis June — the season when wedding invitations flourish and everyone gets busy pledging forever, in sickness, and ’til death do us part. Since there is nothing young married folk love more than unsolicited advice (unless it is the question that pops up within minutes of the ceremony: “So when are you two going to […]

The good guys are out there

Thursday, June 11, 2009

I knew that fatherhood had irreversibly changed him when Mr. Need for Speed drove at turtle’s pace hunched over the steering wheel, eyes scanning the horizon for any real or perceived danger to our newborn baby on his maiden voyage from hospital to home. A motocross racer whose favorite motto was “it’s not the speed […]

Age rage is not a good thing

Thursday, June 4, 2009

You just never think it will happen to you. Then, one day you are caught. Transfixed. A deer in the headlights. You stare in horror as comprehension (and a wrinkle) slowly dawns. You are aging. If there is anything to be learned from growing older it is that we really do remain young at heart […]

And the walls come tumbling down

Thursday, May 28, 2009

I think what keeps you young is learning a little something new about yourself as you age. I, for example, have discovered my inner four-year-old (boy). I am a construction junkie. Behemoth of a building I came by this knowledge quite by accident. For many years now I have begun many workdays staring at the […]

Incredible shrinking food

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Nowadays, I not only take my calculator along on grocery shopping trips (the better to ascertain if we can or cannot afford to eat again this week), but I probably should take a magnifying glass along too. I don’t mean to alarm anyone unnecessarily, but our food appears to be shrinking. Granted, most would agree […]

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About Kymberly

Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.