Stories by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

Vegetable murder and gardening mayhem

Thursday, April 16, 2009

It is said that murderers often return to the scene of their crimes. This is utterly believable to me. I’ve been returning to the same spot in our backyard garden annually for years now, despite the carnage I inevitably leave in my wake. Innocent Some may recall that my first innocent victim, gardening wise, was […]

Go digital, but leave a paper trail

Thursday, April 9, 2009

I am an ironic dinosaur, career-wise. I began my writing on the Internet when I discovered, quite by happy accident, that some kind souls would actually pay me to do what I would happily have done for free at the time. In the early days of the Internet, public “message boards” allowed anyone with dial-up […]

You can’t pause and rewind life

Thursday, April 2, 2009

If I had any doubt at all that modern life has made me soft and slack, all it took was my love affair with our DVR (Digital Video Recorder) to convince me that it is so. I’ll be thoroughly modern and immediately claim that this is not really my fault. Had I been born in […]

Hearts gone wild

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. – Elizabeth Stone The collision seemed to happen — as these things always do — in excruciatingly slow motion. In a burst of reckless speed, a sudden swerve and then the […]

A man, a barn, and a movie

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Pretty much every crazy idea Mr. Wonderful and I have ever had probably started with a measuring tape. One moment we are sitting around, happy as clams and not bothering a soul — least of all ourselves. The next, one of us is poking around and spouting crazy talk such as “I was thinking …” […]

We are frugal to a fault

Thursday, March 12, 2009

If you spend your life trying to impress and keep up with everyone else, you are not living your own life — you are living theirs. – Unknown Like most couples Mr. Wonderful and I certainly had our “salad days.” We lived on love and not much else. Back then, our financial discussions would go […]

One isn’t the loneliest number, but crazy sure is

Thursday, March 5, 2009

I would like to state for the record that I am not now, nor have I ever been, even a little bit insane. At least I don’t think so. Apparently, if you were raised an only child, as I was, that needs clarifying these days. It has recently come to my attention, thanks to “Octuplet […]

How do you spell p-r-e-t-e-e-n?

Thursday, February 26, 2009

It’s been a few years, but I’m fairly certain I taught my son to speak. I have a dim recollection of spending many happy afternoons coaxing his sweet baby-self to say, “Mama! Ma-ma! You can do it Sweetie, Mama!,” only to thrill to that blessed, blissful day when he cracked a wide, gummy grin and […]

Advice on life and love from fourth graders

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I’m just back from my foray into the fourth grade class Valentine’s party. Pizza was eaten, votes were cast, alliances were made — and broken. It was boys versus girls in all the giggly party games. The boys were trounced — badly. And isn’t it just always that way really? When it comes to games […]

Gullibility: Not-so-PC virus

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Warning: Many Internet users are becoming infected by a virus that causes them to believe without question every groundless urban legend and dire warning that shows up in their inbox. The Gullibility Virus, as it is called, apparently makes people believe and forward copies of silly hoaxes relating to cookie recipes, health scares and get-rich-quick […]


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About Kymberly

Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.