Stories by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

Trust me, kids grow up in fast forward

Thursday, June 22, 2006

When my children were younger I would, quite frankly, roll my eyes at the older people who would say as if imparting the sagest of wisdom “enjoy them now, they’ll be grown in the blink of an eye.

A perfect Father’s Day gift

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Father’s Day has never ranked among my top personal holidays. I got no more excited about Father’s Day than, say, any holiday belonging solely to a religion to which I do not belong.

Can’t stand the heat? Stay out of summer

Thursday, June 8, 2006

Summer is a favorite of so many for one obvious reason: it is the one season when total disintegration of social mores is completely acceptable.

The key: Act a little less natural

Thursday, June 1, 2006

In an effort to offset some of the eventual bad habits our children might learn from us, such as muttering unkind and possibly impure thoughts under their breaths while driving, or wearing white shoes after Labor Day, we’re trying to raise them to become productive and law-abiding citizens of the world.

I (don’t) brake for summer vacation

Thursday, May 25, 2006

I was kicking around the idea of writing about all the questionable things our parents did to and with us as children and calling together a support group of sorts.

Of prom, parents and underpants

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Remember when high school prom was just a sweet little rite of passage? This, of course, was back before parents as a whole just went ahead and lost their minds.

Tiny tunes: Can’t stop the music

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Please do NOT call Children’s Services on me. Despite what you may think (and what scientific evidence may have proven), exposure to the soundtrack from Saturday Night Fever does not actually constitute child abuse.

The case of the drip switch

Thursday, May 4, 2006

It should be noted that what I lack in mechanical ability, I make up for with a complete lack of common sense.

Changing homework habits

Thursday, April 27, 2006

I have spent nearly nine years teaching my children that patience is a virtue (although sadly, not one of mine) and that there are no stupid questions.

I need a weekend house or chocolate

Thursday, April 20, 2006

I have never been, shall we say, comfortable with entertaining. When it comes to the planning and preparation involved with inviting people over to dine, I would much rather go to a nice, relaxing dental appointment or something less taxing like that.


Get our Top Stories in Your Inbox

About Kymberly

Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.