Stories by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

Of prom, parents and underpants

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Remember when high school prom was just a sweet little rite of passage? This, of course, was back before parents as a whole just went ahead and lost their minds.

Tiny tunes: Can’t stop the music

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Please do NOT call Children’s Services on me. Despite what you may think (and what scientific evidence may have proven), exposure to the soundtrack from Saturday Night Fever does not actually constitute child abuse.

The case of the drip switch

Thursday, May 4, 2006

It should be noted that what I lack in mechanical ability, I make up for with a complete lack of common sense.

Changing homework habits

Thursday, April 27, 2006

I have spent nearly nine years teaching my children that patience is a virtue (although sadly, not one of mine) and that there are no stupid questions.

I need a weekend house or chocolate

Thursday, April 20, 2006

I have never been, shall we say, comfortable with entertaining. When it comes to the planning and preparation involved with inviting people over to dine, I would much rather go to a nice, relaxing dental appointment or something less taxing like that.

The mean mom’s guide to real life

Thursday, April 13, 2006

After years of toil, struggle, and inner turmoil wondering what, if anything, I want to be when I grow up, I have discovered my one true calling: I am the Meanest Mom Ever! Crowned.

Selecting bath mats slips her up

Thursday, April 6, 2006

You would think that a person who has managed, however inexplicably, to choose a mate, choose to parent two lovely albeit argumentative small humans, and choose to share with the world at large the most intimate details of her life (and those of numerous innocent bystanders), would have little trouble making a commitment to the little things in life.

Moving from to-do to ta-done!

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Score! I just crossed something off my to-do list. I can put a black line straight through “consume entire package of M&M’s before breakfast.

You are officially grown up

Thursday, March 23, 2006

I understand now, with perfect clarity, why some 30-something women persist in sporting mini-skirts that are far too young for them (or their thighs) and men of the same age endlessly relive their teenage athletic exploits.

What it was like in the ancient old days

Thursday, March 16, 2006

On this, the occasion of my 10,000th birthday, I would like to say … oh, OK, I’m not really 10,000 years old.

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About Kymberly

Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.