Stories by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

Mr. Fix-It and Mrs. Breaker

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Victory red, jet black leather interior, spoiler, sunroof and looked almost as sharp as the day it rolled of the showroom floor and into Mr. Wonderful’s waiting arms five years ago. That’s 900, 1500, er, a whole bunch of days. I’m not good at math but let’s say “a while.” In all that time the […]

Deck the halls with gravy boats

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Someone shanghaied my gravy boats. In the wee hours of Thanksgiving morn there must have been a wee gravy mutiny, because I realized I couldn’t find a single one. I had a very small crisis (on league with a hang nail). Ladles (I have six) are for savages. I need my gravy boats. Frankly, I […]

Love and faith gone underground

Thursday, November 28, 2013

I think that some of life’s best moments happen underground. So many of us have fond memories of memorable moments spent in the church basement. The celebration of birth, life, death (or just the feeling of death by committee) and democracy carried out in an environment redolent of a pleasant mustiness and Pine-Sol© mixed with […]

Planning happy holidays

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Over the river and through the wood to Grandmother’s house we go! It’s a refrain as old as the hills — or at least as old as the holidays. What is far less worthy of sing-along, but just as common, is the well roasted chestnut of holiday discord: where — and with whom — to […]

O captain, my captain

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success. — Henry Ford There is a certain beauty in a Midwestern autumn afternoon. The light is golden and the air is brisk, but not yet bitter. We cherish those days. This is not one of them. This day is leaden. The air […]

Stripping is not for sissies

Thursday, October 31, 2013

“It has so much CHARM” I said. “It has so much CHARACTER” I said. “Just shoot me now” I said. The latter as I entered hour nine of the stripping of the endless layers of wallpaper in the dressing room of our home. It’s a small room and, as such, was slated to be a […]

Finders keepers

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Apparently when you become a mother they install a device on your person that keeps track of all your offspring’s belongings at all times. This makes sense when children are infants and not as capable of keeping track of their things. A person working on holding his or her head up and rolling over really […]

Picky people

Thursday, October 17, 2013

I’m not going to get any smarter — ever. I know this because I went ahead and picked at the wallpaper. That is always a bad idea. There is never a moment when you peel off a little bit of wallpaper and that improves a situation is there? Any rookie knows this. You don’t “just” […]

That dirty word, ‘just’

Thursday, October 10, 2013

There is a four letter word that has wreaked more havoc and cost me more money than any other word in the English language. That word is “just.” It’s not a swear word, but it probably should be. “Just looking.” “Just going to see what we might get into here.” “Just going to be a […]

The dance of daddies and young daughter’s dating

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Mr. Wonderful refers to most teenage boys with designs on his daughter (aka all of them) as “the one with the hands.” He further categorizes them as “the other one with the hands.”

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About Kymberly

Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.