Stories by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

And then, along came a spider

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Just when I think it’s safe to leave the house, nature, not content to menace me IN MY OWN HOME decides to take the show on the road. I was driving home after a most fantastic and relaxing night with my dearest of friends. We had enjoyed the loveliest meal, most pleasant conversation, and all […]

At son’s high school orientation, they forgot to give me key information

Thursday, August 30, 2012

I have had the date for high school orientation on my calendar for six weeks. I kept avoiding and ignoring it — as if by refusing to acknowledge its existence, I would never have to attend.

Brand, new refrigerator (almost)

Thursday, August 23, 2012

I took a shower with my refrigerator shelf last night, which is just every bit as sexy as it sounds. I realize normal people don’t bathe with their major appliances. This requires a bit of explanation. Our refrigerator has been an annoyance since it was brand new. Somewhere around the one-year- and one-hour-old mark, just […]

Powerless? Off with their heads

Thursday, August 16, 2012

You know what makes me realize I am not a nice person? My reaction when you put a stop to my unlimited power. We recently had a short, but annoying, electrical power outage and, as I learned of others happily having their power restored, I had ENVY. I begrudged them of their good fortune. They […]

The care and feeding of your rabid hyena

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Today we took our cat to the vet. What I would really like to type is “Today we took our angry, rabid hyena to the vet” because, yeah, it was kind of like that. Kandalle (he was named by a child so please don’t ask) is an indoor cat. He came to us eight years […]

I’ll never forget you … maybe

Thursday, August 2, 2012

You know that moment when you maybe, sort of, forget to pick up your child from soccer practice, and maybe do that two days in a row? That is when you know your Parent of the Year award is probably not just lost in the mail. On the other hand, you know how you have […]

A cup full of memories

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Lately I’ve been noticing that all the other grown-ups (as seen on TV) have matching coffee mugs. Whether a lighthearted chat or a deeply dramatic discussion, they eat and drink from dishes that match.

Zen and the modern camper girl

Thursday, July 19, 2012

I am hard pressed to say why I love our camper so. It’s a mid-90s model replete with golden oak and pale blue Formica and a modern (c. 1995) feel. These are all the things I swore to eschew when we willingly and of our own volition moved into an old home. Our house is […]

Building a better handbasket

Thursday, July 12, 2012

We wind down a dusty back road, into a gravel parking lot, and step out into the searing blanket of 95 degree heat. Mr. Wonderful balances a mega platter of potatoes and I gather my purse, lock the car and wonder, yet again, how it is they seem to move the parking lot further and […]

Bearing up to the call of the wild

Thursday, June 28, 2012

It’s long been a dream of mine to not be eaten by a bear. This hasn’t been a difficult dream to fulfill since I have always resided, quite smugly, in a state that claimed to have no bears beyond the zoo and an occasional misplaced Chicago football fan. This is why people live in the […]

If you want to have fun, travel light hearted

Thursday, June 21, 2012

To say I’m kicking myself for not buying the squirrel would be an understatement. We were blessed to embark on our 11th annual summer road trip this year. The habit of taking three-day tours with my cousin and our collective four children started when the children were toddlers and continues today when all are in […]

Putting the sweat in shop

Thursday, June 14, 2012

I used to have a life where I left the house, went out in the world and accomplished things. I seem to recall I put on actual pants when I did this. Then I discovered the Internet, work primarily from home, and I don’t wear pants anymore. O.K., technically I wear lounge pants. These are […]

Middle ground

Thursday, June 7, 2012

I’ve always felt sorry for middle school. Elementary school gets all the love and the blind allegiance of parents and children new to education who embrace everything from fresh crayons to the smell of glue. The first day of school, playground games and cupcakes-on-your-birthday fanfare all belong to the lower grades. Sure you have to […]

Life as a news junkie

Thursday, May 31, 2012

I watch the news mainly to feel better about myself. No matter how dorky I might be on any given day (and my dork is legendary), there is always someone trying to rob a bank with a blow dryer, or driving their car into a swimming pool on the evening news. How can you not […]

Raising children: Yours, mine and ours

Thursday, May 24, 2012

The same people that I once fervently hoped would mind their own business are the people I hope most will help mind mine today.

Kymberly Foster’s parenting performance review

Thursday, May 17, 2012

This week, Kymberly Foster reacts to her daughter’s Mother’s Day poem.

The truth about boys and girls

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Having a son I thought surely I had gotten my hands on the one man on Earth a woman could understand. I was wrong.   Gems My son is 14. He and his friends exist in a haze of hormones and Axe body spray (the scent that will take paint off the walls). They are […]

Bullying, not a laughing matter

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a laugher, but bullying is no joke.

Kymberly Foster Seabolt talks love and marriage

Thursday, April 26, 2012

After 20 years of marriage, Kymberly Seabolt discusses what keeps her heart beating.

Paid in full. Maybe. (Doesn’t anyone want my money?)

Thursday, April 19, 2012

I think I’ve figured out why the economy still needs a little work. No one wants to take our money anymore.


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About Kymberly

Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.