Thursday, November 26, 2015

You would think that a person who has managed, however inexplicably, to choose a mate, choose to parent two lovely albeit argumentative small humans, and choose to share with the world at large the most intimate details of her life (and those of numerous innocent bystanders), would have little trouble making a commitment to the little things in life.

Score! I just crossed something off my to-do list. I can put a black line straight through "consume entire package of M&M's before breakfast.

I understand now, with perfect clarity, why some 30-something women persist in sporting mini-skirts that are far too young for them (or their thighs) and men of the same age endlessly relive their teenage athletic exploits.

On this, the occasion of my 10,000th birthday, I would like to say ... oh, OK, I'm not really 10,000 years old.

It is almost spring and the first specks of bold, new colors are sprouting among us. No, not spring flowers silly.

Look, I just don't know if I can stomach the path this nation is taking one more day. What kind of world do we live in when a down-on-his-luck panhandler has to say, "Pardon me, brother.

Nothing's wrong just as long as You know that someday I will. Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it all right But not right now.

You really need to be in tip-top shape to come down with anything nowadays. The down-and-out workout.

Don't you just hate it when worlds collide? My second-grader informed us, imperiously, that Cupid is "just a myth.

The first Girl Scout cookie was sold on Nov. 11, 1932 by a troop in Philadelphia. The girls baked cookies for day nurseries as a community service project.