Life Out Loud

The Tao of Taylor Swift

“This is life before you know who you’re gonna be … At Fifteen.” — Taylor Swift Apparently a recent column detailing the drama of parenting tween and teen girls hit a lot of nerves already worn raw by one too many slammed doors and eye-rolls. People raising young girls today, or having survived doing so [...]

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Where there’s smoke

All things considered, I think that the moment you are shouting “fire” is not likely to rank among your finest culinary accomplishments. Although you will not get that impression from THIS story, I am a good cook. Usually. Frankly I have always been leery around bacon. It spatters grease while cooking and foods that fight [...]

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Beware the menace of the trees

I can’t live anywhere where the trees aren’t of voting age. It’s preferable that they could have possibly voted for Lincoln. I do love a good shade tree. Hugger Granted, I’m not a card carrying tree hugger. I once took the life of a meddling walnut that got in the way of my swimming pool. [...]

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Mean, tweens and go-betweens

This nonsense about being a role model for youth is exhausting. Apparently, upon becoming a parent, you are supposed to set an example for your children — and I don’t mean the “serve as a terrible warning” type either. No, you are supposed to be a good example. You are supposed to be the bigger [...]

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Not-so-proud parenting

I think every parent has that moment when they think, proudly, “well THAT went well.” For some it’s compliments from others on their lovely child. For others it might be honor roll, student council or “always a delight in class” scrawled on each and every report card. If you are a parent raising a “good [...]

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Braving the not-so-great outdoors

Pity poor Chico the Chihuahua. Chico, three whole pounds of bruiser canine muscle (aka delicious morsel) was out with his owner last week when a great horned owl swooped down and tried to fly away with poor Chico firmly gripped in his talons. This is clearly a risk when your dog weighs less than the [...]

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Setting new goals for 2011

By the time you read this the majority of New Year’s resolutions will have been cast aside like old shoes. It takes roughly 21 days to make — or break — a habit. If you’re not careful you may have already lit up, eaten a second (or fifth) doughnut and expressed enough road rage to [...]

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Why does January have to be a bear?

January is such an unlovable month. I’m sure there are people who embrace it with pure unbridled joy, I just haven’t met any of them. While it poses as a month of great promise — resolutions, a “clean slate,” new beginnings — it is, in reality, a trick of the calendar. Stuck, wholly and completely [...]

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Packing away holiday memories

I admit it. I love Christmas. I’m not jaded, exhausted or “relieved that it’s over.” There is no bah humbug here. I’m in no danger of being visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present or future because I am already converted. I love Christmas. This year as I mourn the passing of yet another [...]

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Holidays with Mr. Wonderful

I just read that Hollywood actors Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson have split-up. That’s sad. They seemed like a cute couple. Granted, once your husband gets voted “The Sexiest Man Alive” that’s got to throw off the balance of power in a relationship. I would not want to be married to The Sexiest Man Alive. [...]

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Do you hear what I hear?

When I was a kid music class consisted of a set of finger cymbals and a teacher who was valiant in her efforts to teach us to sing Michael Row Your Boat Ashore — in round. Today’s music instructor is charged with teaching music appreciation, overseeing a stage performance, and convincing a reluctant student body [...]

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Most times grandma’s ways work just fine

Let me state for the record that I am firmly against food poisoning. I am definitely not a fan. Having had it once, I can assure you that anyone who says they “think” they had food poisoning hasn’t. If you have it, you’ll know. I can still recall feeling like I wanted to die on [...]

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A Black Friday mouse tale

“I asked for riot shields, but they wouldn’t give me one, so it’s not going to be that bad I don’t think.” – Target employee I will not go out at the crack of dawn for anything other than a birth, a death or an early flight to a beach. I am up at midnight [...]

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Weight a minute: Feeling fit

Clearly, there is something wrong with my diet. Namely, that I am not on one. Other people seem to be doing all kinds of healthy and active things. They are walking and running and taking something called “Zumba” which sounds more like a reggae band than an exercise movement . This is all quite inspiring [...]

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The gifter who keeps on giving bad gifts

Mr. Wonderful has taken to hitting me to get his point across. OK, technically it’s more of a playful tap on the shoulder to alert me, the listener, that he has just said something important. He has adapted this as a method to ensure that I am actually paying attention when he is about to [...]

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Toting the line on clutter control

Call them bins, boxes, or totes but those plastic coffins designed to “out of sight / out of mind” our unused personal possessions are simply a way to fool oneself into thinking we are “cleaning” and “organizing.” Really, all we are doing is carefully packing and stacking our trash. I don’t care if it’s collectible [...]

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The plague and I

I think it’s safe to confess that I have been a carrier of the plague. Apparently, I had pinkeye. Every single last one of my real-life friends (as opposed to my live-in-the-computer friends who far outnumber them and that is sad, really) just went “WHAT THE HECK?” even if all they did during this time [...]

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Crafting memories

I grew up with a mother who wasn’t terribly crafty, but come Halloween would dutifully create my Halloween costume with her own two hands. Over my trick-or-treating career she whipped up a black cat, gypsy and hobo using only her cunning and sheer force of will. Nowadays we call these people Martha Stewart, back then [...]

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Clearing my almost good name

Since they were old enough to be even dimly aware that their lives were published, my children have understood that a fair amount of good-natured humiliation goes with the territory. This is to say that I may have slipped up and told a story or six that to me was “adorable” but to them was [...]

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Potluck at your own peril

I give the worst parties. Seriously. I have no idea why people keep coming to my house. I tend to issue invitations that request that you join us and please bring a lawn chair, a dish to pass and a beverage, too. I tend to supply meat, water and fire. It’s akin to being invited [...]

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