How does that old song go? Send in the clowns
As usual, our family remains committed to causing highly educated and supremely dedicated professionals seriously doubt their career of choice.
A team from the National Science Museum in Tokyo, has, for the first time, discovered a giant squid captured on camera in its natural habitat.
Once again, I have let a perfect opportunity for martyrdom pass me right by. Isn’t that always how it is? Blink, you miss it, and before you know it, all the good victimizations are taken.
Obviously, it is never too early for me to start scheming – and worrying – about where my next sugar rush will come from.
There are just some things no woman ever wants to hear from her spouse including: “Honey, I’ve met someone.
When I think of all the years of my youth I wasted worrying about being popular, why, I could just weep.
There is a certain, delicious agony in failing first grade. Granted, it’s virtually impossible to really flunk out on the second day of school, but me, I’m an overachiever.
On your mark, get set, go back to school! That rite of passage, the “back to school season,” is upon us once again, ready or not.
I am running with a bad crowd. Somewhere there is a bookish gathering of nerdy, sedentary types missing me terribly.
He would have been 31 years old last November – November 14 to be exact, which stands out for me, because that is my birthday, too.
I have a limited fashion sense due to one minor detail: I’m not six-foot-nine and the weight of a Q-tip.
Every person should have at least one breathless, wide-eyed memory of summer.
Leaping off a sun bleached wooden dock; casting a line into an icy clear Midwestern lake; clinging blindly to an out-of-control paddle boat with the sickening realization that you are heading straight for a monstrously large shoreline poison ivy patch.
As usual, I’m ahead of the curve in all the wrong ways.
Just once I’d like to be the first to buy the next hot stock, embrace the next fashion-forward look, or even have the season’s hottest salad dressing on my plate before anyone else (Lime Kool-Aid vinaigrette anyone?).
Duct tape: It’s not just for pipe repair and hostage situations anymore.
Recently, in an embarrassing setback for NASA, a temporary window cover fell off the shuttle while it was on the launch pad, damaging thermal tiles near the tail.
Back in the day we shunned PDA.
No, not personal digital assistant – that’s so 21st century.
PDA was Public Display of Affection, i.
I really wanted to write something today, but I’m currently obsessed with stalking my bank account. This is, I assure you, every bit as exciting as it sounds.
First, let me state for the record that no dogs were harmed in the making of this column.
Primarily because those little buggers are fast and really hard to catch.
So, the entire world is up in arms because Danica Patrick, a female driver, placed fourth at the Indy 500 recently.
As a mother, I want a lot for my children.
I want them to be happy, to cure cancer, to be compassionate and well-loved individuals, and to marry into Bill Gates’ millions.