As you may have guessed, I’m pretty fond of the man I married. Crazy about him even. This does not, however, prevent me from engaging in an enjoyable pastime shared by many married folk: The “what I would do if you were dead” conversations.
I blame quite a bit of this morbid curiosity on the […]
In my teens and early 20s, there was but one truth that I held self-evident: I would never, ever be “small town.”
From my earliest preteen years, I had sent my sights on getting out of town. Upon reaching adulthood, I was going to decamp to a “big city” just as fast as my little feet […]
I have often said that the reason I enjoy being a “columnist,” rather than a “journalist” is that the former can use random numbers like a “jzillion dollars” without remorse, while the latter has to report with accuracy on dull-as-dishwater things like the Gross National Product and how much it costs to fill the pothole in front of your house. (Curiously, about a “jzillion dollars.”)
Despite what psychoanalysts might claim, not everything that is wrong with you is your mother’s fault.
Is it a sign of old age — or the apocalypse — that I am suddenly feeling this winter like never before? It’s been snowing for what, 600, 700 years now?
It is never going to stop snowing, raining and/or icing up. Will we be dodging snowflakes on the Fourth of July? Global warming my foot. […]
I think I can safely say that I join the rest of the free world in relief that the terror and unrest is behind us. By this we mean the Oscars.
The world had waited with bated breath for the end of the Hollywood writers’ strike that had threatened to shut down the iconic Academy Awards […]
“I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.” - Roseanne Barr
Apparently, a 50-percent divorce rate isn’t high enough for the cellular telephone industry. No, they’ve given otherwise loving couples yet one more thing to squabble over: shared minutes.
He’s always been less a lover, more a fighter. We bought him almost 15 years ago, in our early dating days when buying a cat together was still giddily committed, “hey look at us, we’re a FAMILY!” We found him in a pet shop, stuck in a cage in a roomful of barking dogs, eyes wide, fur on end.
I knew all those years of selfishly tossing aside those urban legend chain letter e-mails that warned of dire consequences if I did not forward said chain letter to dozens of my friends posthaste would come to haunt me.