Tuesday, July 26, 2016

If a wall is going to fall on me (and it's generally safe to assume it WILL), then you would think that at the VERY least, something valuable could fall with it.

He is wanted for transgressions against humanity. His alleged crime spree includes such offenses as touching, being "weird," "totally annoying" and, on occasion, "looking at me funny.

Giving new merit to the term "fashion police," baggy pants that show boxer shorts or thong underwear would be illegal under a proposed amendment to Atlanta's indecency laws.

I have probably bored you at length with my battles with bats, which are far more plentiful this summer than at any other time in memory.

It seems to me to be patently unfair that firsts get all the fanfare - first step, first love, first kiss.

I firmly believe that two of the most daunting - albeit well-intentioned - statements in the English language are thus: "When God closes a door, He opens a window" and "God has a plan.

With all due respect to Dr. Dolittle, if I could talk to the animals what I would say is this: Dudes, I need my space.

I can't even get arrested in this town. Well, OK, technically I could probably get arrested, but what I probably wouldn't get is a CNN ticker and headline news.

Hanging upside down at 45 mph is definitely NOT the time to start fretting about your child's hip-to-shoulder ratio.

Pity the people who flocked to be married this past weekend, convinced that all it took was a magic number, in this case the date of 7-7-07, to insure their wedded bliss.
Get 4 Weeks of Farm and Dairy Home Delivered Sign Up for your FREE Trial
Hello. Add your message here.