Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Some are born to greatness. Some rise to greatness. And some just want to get their dog out of the swimming pool.

I've long said that I'll be darned if my children are going to go running off spending good

When I write about my life, people actually ask, with a straight face, if I make things up. When you learn about my people - my family - you soon realize that embellishment is rarely necessary.

I am a soccer mom and I am OK with that.

There is a common misconception among amateur parents and people who have never raised children (but curiously always seem to know an awful lot about how other people should raise theirs) that boys and girls behave differently due only to parental programming and societal propaganda.

I am the scourge of good editors because I tend to write about things in whatever the exact opposite of timeliness is.

All of my columns carry alternate titles (if only in my head). What the nice typesetter might call it and what I call it is often something else entirely.

What ever happened to "play nice?" News sources quote a Chinese safety official with the "General Administration of Quality Supervision, Inspection and Quarantine" (whew!) as saying that discussion with the United States over how much lead paint could be used in toys were being worked out by product safety officials in both countries.

The most common misconception in America today is that criminals are crafty, cunning and smart. In reality, I think most people turn to a life of crime because they are just too stupid to do anything else.

They are to stand in three (almost) straight lines on the shiny wooden floor. Tennis shoes screech loudly in that nails-on-chalkboard yet oddly satisfying way that they sometimes do on gymnasium floors, as 46 feet swivel into position.
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