The dirty truth

The thing I love about political season is … nothing. Not a single blessed thing. How is this possible?

I love law and politics (cough-nerd alert-cough). I enjoy a well-paced debate like other people do the Super Bowl.

Dirt

I know politics have always played dirty but somehow, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve just had … enough.

I know that we all SAY we hate dirt mongering, nasty political ads but time and again the polls and pols (as in Political Strategists) will tell us they work.

Lately, I can’t tell you much about any one candidate based on their OWN assessment or that of someone who supports them. I can, however, tell you that based on the advertising I see, there are a whole lot of candidates who are apparently direct descendants of Satan.

Listening to their opponents claims, it’s a wonder anyone has time to run for office what with all the time they spend destroying the very fabric of society and ridding the world of clean water and puppies.

Imagine if other choices in life were made this way. Of course it is said that politics makes strange bedfellows.

In that vein, imagine a marriage proposal that went something like “Your former boyfriend was a real loser. He took part in shifty deals, didn’t show up for work, wore ugly ties and has an unhealthy attachment to snack foods that is not going to end well for his cholesterol. Clearly, I’m the right choice for your 2014 wedding.”

Interview

Political candidacy is like one long job interview. I get it. You need a leg up.

So let’s apply this to the work world. You arrive for your interview and instead of dressing to impress you lose the tie, roll up your shirtsleeves and spend the entire interview nodding with sincerity (when not staring dreamily into the distance) while espousing on how “salt of the earth” you are.

You drag the spouse and kids (or grandkids) along for added measure.

I’ve never understood how showing me your cute offspring says “vote for me.”

I guess nothing says “I am qualified for this very important job” like the ability to procreate?

I love a cute kid as much if not more than the next voter — I’m just not sure you can take your daughter (or son) to work as a career choice.

This is not to say that some youngsters wouldn’t do a bang up job running the government. Share. Be kind. Tell the truth.

It’s a kindergarten campaign platform that could really take off.

Do not even get me started on candidates who employ automated telephone calls as a method of campaigning.

“Reach out and touch someone” was based on the idea that one did that PERSONALLY.

Having an auto dialer bother me with a very important pre-recorded message tells me that you care enough to try the very least.

At least I think that’s what it says. I’ve never listened past the first few seconds to know for sure. Is there anyone who actually listens to those things? If so can I ask why?

Televised debates, candidacy forums, and accounts of a candidate’s unique qualifications and personal fitness all go a long way in making an informed political decision.

I refuse to take seriously ANY CANDIDATE who bases their campaign on “the other guy stinks.”

Tell us how qualified YOU are — not that you can’t possibly be much worse.