Redefining yourself takes tenacity, dignity

by Judith Sutherland

“There are moments in every life that define us anew. Find a way to make that moment happen for you.”

— Anonymous

Have you ever found yourself wishing to live a new life?

A friend of mine sent me a quote that reads, “What could you accomplish if you knew you could not fail?” What a wonderful question!

I might start my own company, write a great book, create a hybrid fruit that wins all sorts of awards. I might orchestrate a traveling farm petting zoo for city children who have never seen a wobbly-legged calf or an adorable day-old lamb or a litter of colorful newborn kittens.

New outlook

I am standing at a precipice in my life, and it is amazingly exhilarating. It might sound annoyingly simplistic, but I am no longer allowing others to define me or harass me. I have turned a wonderful corner and if you find yourself in a situation that needs to change, this column is to encourage you to do the same.

My turning point came on Friday when I quit a job I have held for many years.

Without meaning to toot my own horn, I can honestly say that I had been an exemplary employee — arriving early, staying late without complaint, doing all I could to improve the cash-flow within the office by being frugal with supplies in order to stretch things as far as humanly possible.

I was kind and sincerely caring toward clients, many of whom I had grown to know as friends. I had recently completed training at my own expense within the field in order to become a more valuable employee, though my additional licensing was not utilized or recognized.

Unbearable

What had long been an enjoyable place to work became unbearable. I had never in my life dealt with bigotry. When I did not voice supportive agreement with this behavior and extreme thinking, favoritism within the small staff became a blaring undertone.

I suddenly was no longer called by my lifelong nickname, a name I have carried since I was a newborn baby. I have been known by this nickname by everyone from family to community members to my boss.

Suddenly, I found myself cast in an entirely different light in every way by this boss, including the name which I was to be called. While I was not consulted about this, it was explained to others they were to no longer call me by my nickname.

Though as a part-time employee I had no benefits of any kind, I repeatedly stayed late when the schedule dictated it, yet there was no longer monetary compensation for extremely long days. I was, without question, being put in my place.

Upon returning from our beach vacation, I realized that I had been enlightened in every way while being away from this situation.

Because of this realization, I decided to try to discuss this with the man who I have considered not only my boss but a friend for many, many years.

It became very clear that things have shifted in some unexplained direction, without forethought, without reason.

I was no longer going to be treated with respect, or as a member of the team, but treated as a lowly worker whose feelings or opinions would not be listened to, but further than that, would not be tolerated. It was underscored by what name I was to be called.

Defining moment

It became very clear that I was living one of those defining moments.

When this man reprimanded me for having traded one day, with good reason, with another part-time employee, I said, “It will never happen again.”

And I walked out the door.

Returning to this farm that morning was as close as I will get to walking through the gates of heaven while on this planet. I felt my entire life opening up to me in new ways. I had reclaimed myself.

If life is not good, do what you can to make it so. We travel this journey for such a short time, and I strongly believe we each deserve to live our days with peacefulness and bliss.

Are you standing at a precipice in your life, wishing for something to change?

What could you accomplish if you knew you could not fail?

About the Author

Judith Sutherland, born and raised on an Ohio family dairy farm, now lives on a 70-acre farm not far from the area where her father’s family settled in the 1850s. Appreciating the tranquility of rural life, Sutherland enjoys sharing a view of her world through writing. Other interests include teaching, reading, training dogs and raising puppies. She and her husband have two children, a son and a daughter, in college.
Other posts by Judith Sutherlandeditorial@farmanddairy.com

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