‘Twas the night before Christmas, I was watching some TV
When on the screen, it could not be
Standing there wearing not even a thread
It was that Big Bearded man who usually wears red.
‘Twas the night before Christmas at the elves’ village dairy,
Nine cows were lined up, for Santa and sleigh they’d carry
‘Cause the Official Reindeers Union was still out on strike
Nine cows jumping over the moon saved this wonderful night!
‘Twas the night before, I was trimming the tree,
Bags full of presents were piled to my knees!
Hours of wrapping was the next thing to do,
But out of the kitchen, came smoke, oh so blue!
The cookies I was baking were charred black like coal,
Many things left to do were taking their toll!
Why didn’t I listen, take the easy way out,
Have Giant Eagle do the baking and hand gift cards out!?
‘Twas the night before Christmas as we sat by the tree,
The kids are all grown now, it’s just ma and me
We talked of happy times, they go by so fast
It seems like yesterday, but the memories still last.
Gilbert J. Calta
Valley City, Ohio
‘Twas the night before Christmas, outside it was cold
Three feet of snow fell, global warming I’m told
I can’t find my shovel, the snow blower is broke
I’m stuck here till spring, that is no joke