Stories by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

Money talks: I just don’t speak the language

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Obviously, I am failing to see the big picture, money wise, and for this (and my being a writer – a career path which ranks slightly lower than illegal alien bus boy in terms of financial success), I’m unlikely to ever be obscenely, or even G-ratedly, rich.

Out of the closet: It’s us against our stuff

Thursday, November 18, 2004

I think I want to move.
Oh sure, I love the house, the property, the neighborhood, and the schools. All our friends are here and the dogs finally learned how to strew the trash about the yard in the most efficient manner.

Pillow talk: In pursuit of bedded bliss

Thursday, November 11, 2004

I had no idea so much was riding on my mattress.
That is, until the down comforter on our bed sprang a leak.

Daylight saved is daylight earned

Thursday, November 4, 2004

Ask any three adults you know, I’m talking even the brilliant, highly educated ones. The ones who can’t even match their shoes or tuck in their shirts, they are that smart.

Speaking out on verbal abuse

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
Speak for yourself pal. Words, when abused, give me a screaming headache.

Gift anxiety: Present and accounted for

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Let me be the first to gleefully – and with a certain amount of malice – point out to you that there are only 63 shopping days left until Christmas.

Adding insult to incarceration

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Talk about adding insult to incarceration.
Martha Stewart has been sentenced to serve her time at the federal prison in Alderson, W.

Sticks, stones and sharp words

Thursday, October 7, 2004

(Authors note: Names and locations have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent and any resemblance to anyone living or annoying is purely coincidental.

Storms of stupidity

Thursday, September 30, 2004

There has been a lot of talk lately about how any number of things are making Americans look bad.
Reality TV, bare midriffs in church, our lack of respect for other cultures, and the presidential election just to name a few.

Give me ketchup or give me death

Thursday, September 23, 2004

I often dreamed that once I packed my youngest child off to kindergarten, I would be free to indulge in some “me” time and become one of the much heralded “ladies who lunch.

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About Kymberly

Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.