Stories by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

Every child should have a barn

Thursday, November 5, 2009

It is often said that every boy should have a dog. That does sound nice. What I truly believe, however, is that every boy — and girl — should definitely have a barn. Play The first barn I vividly remember is my grandmother’s barn. It is the quintessential “big red barn.” The lower level featured […]

But wait! There’s not more

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Remember when the news was newsworthy? News, of course, is anything you learn that you didn’t know before. Using that definition almost anything is technically “news” if it’s new to you. Researchers at Georgetown University, for example, found that caterpillars can “shoot” their feces a distance of 40 times their body length. See there? News! […]

The “I don’t mean to be mean” girls

Thursday, October 22, 2009

There is a point in life when you realize that you never do, in fact, outgrow high school. Worse, you never really get over junior high. We sent the baby off to “middle school” this year. In my day, middle school (AKA junior high) didn’t start until seventh grade. Today it starts in fifth grade. […]

Let there be light

Thursday, October 15, 2009

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end. How many managers does it take to change a light bulb? We’ve formed a task force to study the problem […]

Marital immunity? Scratch that

Thursday, October 8, 2009

As we tally the final numbers at summer’s end, we find that with the arrival of cooler weather goes what little hope we had that this would be the year of our greatest garden yet. This should come as no surprise since we haven’t had any luck whatsoever with a garden before. This year was […]

Apology and the fine art of making one

Thursday, September 24, 2009

I don’t, as a rule, look to celebrities to serve as role models for my children. I’m not generally on the lookout for anyone to teach my children how to get arrested for a heroin possession or soliciting, and I have rarely had need for anyone to teach my kids how to lie, cheat or […]

The roofers are here

Thursday, September 17, 2009

I used to think the four sweetest words in the English language were “Will you marry me?” or “It’s a healthy boy!” (Or girl). These days “The roofers are here” is running a close third. When we bought this old house it had a new roof. That selling point alone should have alerted us that […]

Angels, angst, alcohol and a quick trip to the ER

Thursday, September 10, 2009

There are any number of reasons why I will never be crowned Mother of the Year, but the truth is, I removed myself from the running early on. When the children were babies Mr. Wonderful worked nights. As a result, I spent many long, hot, afternoons sitting alone with them in the yard, playing in […]

Dealing with my own little print war

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Having appeared in print for years now, you would think I would have both a deep understanding and an acquired immunity to the craziness that come over people when it comes to seeing their name in print. Alas, you would be wrong. Quite by accident and through no fault of my own I became embroiled […]

When push comes to shove

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The danger of writing about your life, yourself and your family is that you are always in grave danger of becoming one of “those moms.” You know the ones. Your children are always beautiful, brilliant, gifted. Maybe Garrison Keillor can get away with that when writing about Lake Woebegone, but here in the real world […]

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About Kymberly

Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.