Maybe I would have been more capable at, say, algebra if I hadn’t given valuable brain space to forever remembering a bandage commercial from 1975? “I am stuck on Band-Aid brand ‘cause Band-Aid’s stuck on me,” indeed. It’s been stuck in my HEAD all this time. I’m also pretty loyal to that brand of bandages, so I have to admit it has worked.
Dunkin’ Donuts’ “time to make the doughnuts” is still muttered between Mr. Wonderful and I if we have to get up at dark o’clock in the morning. I don’t know if anyone under 50 years old even gets that reference anymore.
To be fair, I’m not sure Dunkin’ even makes doughnuts anyway? Or is it d-o-n-u-t-s? That is one area where being taught to spell things incorrectly might have come into play. They pretty much focus on drinks now anyway, so I suppose that little old guy who shuffled off to make the doughnuts has long since retired.
On the plus side, the Oscar Mayer commercial is how I learned how to spell bologna when I was little. I’m not sure how often I’ve needed to spell “bologna,” but it’s good to know I have that information at the ready, should it be required.
I definitely DID want to “be a Pepper” and drink Dr. Pepper, although that was sometimes at odds with the “I’d like to buy the world a Coke” commercial that lives rent-free in my head.
I also know that it’s not nice to fool Mother Nature because a particularly bossy lady wearing a flower crown told me all about that in margarine commercials. And it goes without saying that I would never, ever, squeeze the Charmin.
These lyrical ear worms find their way into the mind and never leave. I don’t even LIKE Big Macs but I can recite “two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun” in one breath and completely from memory.
If I recall correctly, there used to be contests with winners if they could successfully sing it in four seconds or less. I think I could have been a contender.
Frankly, the periodic table of the elements might have had better staying power in my grey matter if it had only had a catchier rhyme. It’s like science wasn’t even TRYING.
Some things still puzzle me. It makes sense that we could wax rhapsodic over Kodak and coffee commercials. The Kodak campaign features a song by Paul Anka and the scenes looking back at precious memories, explicitly highlighting moments of love, laughter and tears.
Folgers coffee was bringing families together at the holidays. What’s not to love? Why, though, were we getting misty-eyed over … fabric? “The touch, the feel of cotton… the fabric of our lives.” It was a tear-jerker advertising T-shirts and sheets.
“Ace is the place with the helpful hardware man.” GirlWonder worked for our local Ace Hardware when she was in high school, and you best believe I wore that jingle OUT when she was dressed in her dapper red vest and heading out to the door to work.
Other ways to torment loved ones come along if you have anyone in your circle named “Mike.” “Let’s get Mikey. Yeah he won’t eat it; he hates EVERYTHING. He likes it, hey Mikey!” Having married a “Mikey,” I can assure you that he will never live that reference down. Heaven help us if we miss a chance to exclaim “He LIKES it! Hey Mikey!”
It’s funny how our minds work, isn’t it? I know these commercials from decades ago but I can also forget why I walked into a room a minute ago. What was I doing again?
It’s not my fault. My brain is otherwise occupied. I’m still trying to figure out how many licks it might take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
