“Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.”
— Anthony Brandt
I recently attended a class reunion for Mr. Wonderful along with his sister (they graduated the same year). It was as fun as anything where you know maybe three people can be. Making small talk, I was asked, repeatedly, “What do you do for fun these days?”
I guess this was in case I was out skydiving, traveling the world or inventing something amazing?
The answer seemed so plain vanilla, but I said it proudly, “We spend most of our free time with our family.”
We are a clan that gathers by the dozens for Little League baseball games and birthday parties. We don’t really do anything “small.”
In the wise words of one niece, “I love our family.”
Me too.
We have referred to our immediate family as “Team Seabolt” since the kids were very young. I highly doubt they remember a time when it was not so. I love the term so much that one of my favorite gifts ever is a gold necklace engraved with “Team Seabolt” in the children’s handwriting. I wear it daily.
There is a sentiment that the days are long but the years are short and that sure rings true. Sometimes it still hits me fresh that I no longer have anyone to drop off or pick up from practice or a sleepover. I don’t have toddlers to entertain. There is no 8-year-old doing cannonballs into the swimming pool this summer.
I can miss their childhood days of living here with us. Whether it was childhood chatter or late night chats, I always tried to be ready to listen. I remember a quote along the lines of “If you listen to the small things when they are little, they will tell you the big things when they are older. Because to children they were all big things.”
Now I have a son who telephones “just to chat” and stops home as often as he can despite living hours away. A daughter who stays in touch almost daily and has grown to be one of my best friends, a son-in-law who could not be more like our own if he tried and a beautiful soon-to-be daughter-in-law that we cherish as our own as well.
They have careers. Partners. Homes. They live entire lives outside in the world. It’s trite but true that it seems like just yesterday their entire world lived, for the most part, inside our home.
Now it’s a feeling akin to the excitement of Christmas if they are all at home at the same time! GirlWonder and her Handsome Husband live close enough that they would rarely if ever need to spend the night now.
BoyWonder and his lovely fiancée live just far enough that sometimes we get to keep them overnight. I am always THRILLED. Even visits are enough.
We gather at various family events and the feeling I get when my “big kids” are all sitting around laughing, talking, and reminiscing is one that cannot be beat.
I think one of the proudest moments of parenthood is realizing the little boy who once held my hand grew into a man that others can count on. That the tiny baby girl I once held on my hip is now a kind and capable woman and leader. The time went so fast but it was also well spent.
BoyWonder was home for an overnight stay last weekend. In the morning, he said his goodbyes and headed out. We left shortly after to run errands. As we sat at the intersection near our home, I glanced over and saw his truck at the gas station. It was momentarily so surreal. He’s been a full fledged adult for a decade now, yet it just seemed unreal that he was just out there in the world. Adulting. Pumping gas. Grabbing snacks for the ride home. Probably already thinking of the “honey do” list waiting for him. Isn’t he, like, 18 months old? Six at best?
There is only a small window in life when everyone you love is here at the same time. I was blessed to have my grandparents in my life until well into my 50s. The immediate family. The extended family. That is not something I take for granted. One day, we realize these ordinary moments were never ordinary at all. They were the rarest kind of magic.
No matter how old they are, my happy place will always be wherever I can be together with my children. I hope they always know that I’ve had the time of my life raising them, and I will spend every minute of the rest of my life being grateful that I get to love them.
