Stories by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

When push comes to shove

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The danger of writing about your life, yourself and your family is that you are always in grave danger of becoming one of “those moms.” You know the ones. Your children are always beautiful, brilliant, gifted. Maybe Garrison Keillor can get away with that when writing about Lake Woebegone, but here in the real world […]

The ‘fun house’ on the block

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Some folks have the house on the block where all the kids play. I have the house on the block where people send their children to find out how good their health insurance really is. Ours, I am told, is a “fun house.” Not in the literal sense of mazes and crazy mirrors (although, come […]

Memoirs of a Bat Girl

Thursday, August 20, 2009

It is clear that despite my long-standing personal “hands off” policy toward nature, I am destined to go down in history as one of those people forever identified with a certain species of animal. Jane Goodall had her chimps. Steve Irwin had his crocodiles. Me, I have bats. Oh, I don’t want to have bats […]

Namesake of my daughter

Thursday, August 13, 2009

My great-grandmother, Jeannette, was born in 1902 and her life would span most of the 20th century. She would see advancements in her lifetime that were unheard of at the time of her birth. Still her life, like any, would not always be easy. Tragically, she would lose her mother to tuberculosis as a child. […]

Mega Movie Manliness 101

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Twilight movie mega-star Robert Pattinson, asked about his equally famous hair, revealed, “I don’t have much of a sense of personal hygiene or styling … I gave up washing it a while back.” If I could bend the ear of almost any young Hollywood hunk, I wouldn’t waste my time on mundane issues like asking […]

When the party’s over

Thursday, July 30, 2009

My son, at 12, is no longer a willing wearer of a pointy party hat. He has no need for noisemakers. No yen for a piñata. We gave up goodie bags a few years ago, too. Gave up on games I gave up trying to plan party games when I realized I was pulling kids […]

How Not to Get Beat Up At The Movies 101

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I am a nice person. I get through most days fairly happy and not generally spoiling for a fight. I just want that on the record. Still, there are simply times when a person has just had enough. Lately, I’ve become aware that there are a few folks who could be helped by a primer […]

Childhood: Unplugged and unclean

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Our son, at 12, is back from the wild. He has returned from a week at Boy Scout camp. He went off with big plans, a big grin and a “Class A” uniform thrown over his shoulder. I waved good-bye until the van was just a dot in the distance. Forms The decision to send […]

Grade school graduation just the beginning

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Ah June — the hum of valedictory speeches is in the air and mortarboards take flight. We have been invited to celebrate this auspicious milestone with a number of high school graduates this year. Mixed feelings I imagine the parents of all these high school graduates are both thrilled and somewhat confused. Where is that […]

Life, death and to bee or not to bee

Thursday, June 25, 2009

One of the many charming aspects of living in an old house is that you are never truly alone. Never alone Oh sure, I might be the only HUMAN at home, the dogs outside and the cat ignoring me, but I have the sense that I am never really without companions. Once or twice a […]

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About Kymberly

Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.