Stories by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

Life, death and to bee or not to bee

Thursday, June 25, 2009

One of the many charming aspects of living in an old house is that you are never truly alone. Never alone Oh sure, I might be the only HUMAN at home, the dogs outside and the cat ignoring me, but I have the sense that I am never really without companions. Once or twice a […]

‘I do.’ Marriage advice from pros

Friday, June 19, 2009

‘Tis June — the season when wedding invitations flourish and everyone gets busy pledging forever, in sickness, and ’til death do us part. Since there is nothing young married folk love more than unsolicited advice (unless it is the question that pops up within minutes of the ceremony: “So when are you two going to […]

The good guys are out there

Thursday, June 11, 2009

I knew that fatherhood had irreversibly changed him when Mr. Need for Speed drove at turtle’s pace hunched over the steering wheel, eyes scanning the horizon for any real or perceived danger to our newborn baby on his maiden voyage from hospital to home. A motocross racer whose favorite motto was “it’s not the speed […]

Age rage is not a good thing

Thursday, June 4, 2009

You just never think it will happen to you. Then, one day you are caught. Transfixed. A deer in the headlights. You stare in horror as comprehension (and a wrinkle) slowly dawns. You are aging. If there is anything to be learned from growing older it is that we really do remain young at heart […]

And the walls come tumbling down

Thursday, May 28, 2009

I think what keeps you young is learning a little something new about yourself as you age. I, for example, have discovered my inner four-year-old (boy). I am a construction junkie. Behemoth of a building I came by this knowledge quite by accident. For many years now I have begun many workdays staring at the […]

Incredible shrinking food

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Nowadays, I not only take my calculator along on grocery shopping trips (the better to ascertain if we can or cannot afford to eat again this week), but I probably should take a magnifying glass along too. I don’t mean to alarm anyone unnecessarily, but our food appears to be shrinking. Granted, most would agree […]

Do children appreciate all we do?

Thursday, May 14, 2009

First, I would like to thank the editor of this fine publication for my latest existential crisis. They cooked up that heartwarming “Thanks, Mom!” contest last week. I really thought I had that one in the bag. I like to think I’m a pretty great mom. I’m there every day before school, after school, heck […]

Workout? How about a nap out instead?

Thursday, May 7, 2009

I want to be physically fit. I really do. It’s just that it takes so much time. And effort. And commitment. There is only so much time in the day, after all, and I have to pencil in parenting, cooking, cleaning, laundry, running errands and the like. That barely leaves any time at all to […]

Parenting 101: Cajoling and punishment

Thursday, April 30, 2009

I suspect that civilization, as a whole, took a nosedive the very moment people started trying to reason with children. Children are, by nature, unreasonable. Children are basically egos with lungs and legs. Nonetheless, modern parents seem to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to coax, cajole and downright beg their progeny to “please, […]

Raising children? You’re actually just in a holding pattern

Thursday, April 23, 2009

The moment you have a baby, people who are “experts” in the care and handling of infants become utterly convinced that if not taught properly how to hold your child you will, in fact, drop it. Sane, rational adults will caution you to “Watch his head!,” as if only their careful tutelage is what prevents […]

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About Kymberly

Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.