A silver medal marriage

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By the time you read this, Valentine’s Day will be behind us. A Hallmark holiday notwithstanding, it has been all the rage this week for people to share their “how we met” stories. I am nothing if not a basic follower of social media trends. Thus, I could not miss a chance to put my own spin on things.

It is also our 25th wedding anniversary later this year. If I don’t get a better idea before then, this may also double as his present. It’s the thought that counts, right Babe?

As a silver medal couple, I feel our responses should be noted for posterity. Yes, I realize it’s the silver anniversary, but marriage is hard some days. I’m claiming Silver Medal status.

Meeting

How did we meet? At a country music dance club, back when that was still all the rage (1992). He was in a headlock at the time. His uncle’s girlfriend dragged him over to meet me because she thought we might get along.

She was probably right. I agreed to one dance. The rest is history. Fun fact: that venue later became a “gentleman’s” club. We love to horrify the children by pointing out “that’s where Daddy met Mommy” when we drive by.

Where was our first date? The IX Indoor Amusement Park, in Cleveland. On the way to meet him at the halfway point, I had a traffic accident that totalled my car and the other driver’s as well. Not one to let that mishap ruin a good time, I hitched a ride with the responding police officer and arrived in a squad car.

Fortunately, I was in the front seat. Unfortunately, I didn’t take the officer up on his fun offer to “flip on the lights and siren real quick.” I think that could have really added to our first date story. As it is Mr. Wonderful has often noted that if your date arrives in a squad car, life is probably never going to be dull.

Questions

What is our age difference? Mr. Wonderful is 18 months older. This does not in any way, shape or form mean I respect my elders, however.

Who is taller? Mr. Wonderful.

Who is most impatient? Me.

Who is most sensitive? Me.

Who is louder? Also me.

Who is most stubborn? Me again. Goodness I’m a real treat.

Who falls asleep first? Finally one for him! Mr. Wonderful. In like 30 seconds. It’s his superpower.

Who cooks better? Anything that can be put in a smoker? Mr. Wonderful. Also dippy eggs. Everything else? Me.

Who is a better morning person? Mr. Wonderful. His hobbies include getting up earlier than anyone else and making sure you know it.

Who is the better driver? See above re: my destruction of two vehicles on our first date. This goes to Mr. Wonderful by default.

Who is most competitive? Mr. Wonderful all day long. I’m too lazy to be super competitive. What are we winning? Money? Food? I have questions.

Who is funniest? Me, of course.

Where do you eat out most as a couple? A local burger place located in an old barn. I’m all about eating in barns whenever possible.

Who is more social? Mr. Wonderful.

Who is the neat freak? Me, although “neat freak” is a stretch. I’m more “neat mildly interested.”

Where was your first kiss? The foyer of my childhood home after our first date.

Who plans date night? Date night? What is this date night? Is that like a trip to Home Depot and then home to drywall something?

Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong? Well, obviously I cannot be wrong, so Mr. Wonderful!

Who wears the pants in the relationship? Neither. In that we are very balanced. The person with the most expertise in that particular area will generally take the helm, but also take the other’s opinion into consideration. For example, I am the head of home decor. Mr. Wonderful is the go to for automotive concerns.

Who has more tattoos? Neither. We like them well enough for other people; it’s just not something we have been compelled to get.

Who sings better? Neither! I mean, I sound like cats howling, so in a pinch, have Mr. Wonderful serenade you, but neither of us is going to win any awards.

Who hogs the remote? Me. I like to be in control.

Who drives when you are together? Him, almost all of the time. I like to mess with the radio, bother him and ask if we are there yet. This takes all my focus.

Forever. How long have we been together? 29 years.

How long have we been married? 25 years.

How long do we hope to stay together? Forever and ever. Amen.

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Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.

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