Teen driver’s age doesn’t match heart’s calendar


The nice thing about getting married is that you inherit a whole new set of people to fret about.
My niece, for example, is aflutter about learning to drive. According to the State Department of Motor Vehicles, she will be eligible to drive within the next 30 days. This is impossible, of course, because she is only 18 months old.
OK, sure, the calendar says she is going to turn 16 soon, but I know she’s only 18 months old because I just met her yesterday, or so it seems, when my husband-then-boyfriend took me to meet his sister and her “baby.”
She was a cherubic toddler resplendent in a bride’s costume for Halloween, I was the new-girlfriend unaware of my future as a bride.
Now the years have telescoped in on themselves to bring us to this place where she will, inexplicably, be 16 years old and entrusted with a driver’s license.
I think I just gave her a Barney the Dinosaur toy telephone last Christmas didn’t I? Oh no, that’s right. Last Christmas was the Victoria’s Secret tote. We’ve come a long way baby, indeed.
Practice. Nieces, I think, are good practice for daughters. There a million little things – and big things – a meddlesome aunt like myself would love to foist off on my unsuspecting niece.
In 700 words, however, things get boiled down to the basics and I can pretty much sum it up nicely in two:


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Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.