Stories by Kymberly Foster Seabolt

The gifter that keeps on giving very badly

Thursday, December 17, 2009

There is a long-accepted seasonal stereotype that says that women love to give amazing gifts and men are incapable of doing so. Chuckles abound each year as commercials, sitcoms and general conversation all imply males would happily — and haplessly — give vacuum cleaners and dish soap as Christmas gifts if our nation’s jewelers didn’t […]

The more you give, the more you receive

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Last week, my son opened a door to a pantry full of food and proclaimed that there was nothing to eat. Granted, he is 12, and if there are no snack chips, carbonated beverages or cookies then the cupboard is deemed bare. Still, it struck me that people who have all that they need and […]

The pros and cons of Christmas pro shopping

Thursday, December 3, 2009

In life there are two kinds of people: those who start shopping for Christmas Dec. 26 of the previous year, and those who wait until Black Friday (or later) to even think about crossing anything off their holiday shopping list. Many people delight in having their shopping “all done” prior to Thanksgiving. They are at […]

We can’t be forever 15

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Nothing will knock you out of a navel-gazing haze of self-indulgence over rapidly advancing age — “Wait? What’s that? Another wrinkle?” — quite like staring death in the face. In this case, “the face” was a snapshot, more than 20 years old, of an old high school classmate who never lived to see her 16th […]

School trip is growing experience — for me

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Our sixth-grade son, Wonderboy, has gone to camp. Camp being yet another thing the school district cooked up specifically to test me. Much like the whole “Fifth graders totally belong in middle school with big giant huge children who look like they eat fifth graders for mid-morning snack!” They have helpfully decided that in sixth […]

I’m the boss of me, the slacker

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The best thing about the writing life is, of course, the commute — mainly that there isn’t one. I work from home. I can, if I choose, work in my bathrobe. The only problem with “being my own boss” so to speak is that I have such a close, personal relationship with my employee (also […]

Every child should have a barn

Thursday, November 5, 2009

It is often said that every boy should have a dog. That does sound nice. What I truly believe, however, is that every boy — and girl — should definitely have a barn. Play The first barn I vividly remember is my grandmother’s barn. It is the quintessential “big red barn.” The lower level featured […]

But wait! There’s not more

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Remember when the news was newsworthy? News, of course, is anything you learn that you didn’t know before. Using that definition almost anything is technically “news” if it’s new to you. Researchers at Georgetown University, for example, found that caterpillars can “shoot” their feces a distance of 40 times their body length. See there? News! […]

The “I don’t mean to be mean” girls

Thursday, October 22, 2009

There is a point in life when you realize that you never do, in fact, outgrow high school. Worse, you never really get over junior high. We sent the baby off to “middle school” this year. In my day, middle school (AKA junior high) didn’t start until seventh grade. Today it starts in fifth grade. […]

Let there be light

Thursday, October 15, 2009

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end. How many managers does it take to change a light bulb? We’ve formed a task force to study the problem […]

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About Kymberly

Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.