I love my kids, I love my friends’ kids, and I would probably love YOUR kids. This does not mean I love ALL kids. I am full up to HERE with mean girls and bullies.
It is fairly well established that one should never discuss politics or religion in polite company. I think, however, that a third category of the taboo should be added: hobbies. Whether an interview or simply mingling and meeting new folks, there is always one question that makes me cringe. It has nothing to do with […]
“Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet Him.” – Church sign. A car is a great way to get from point A to point B. A car operated while you are distracted by your cellular telephone is a weapon that may steal you — or someone else — from […]
My cousin and I started our “Two Trippin’ Moms Adventures” when our children were very young. Bidding the daddies goodbye, we buckled in a 2-year-old, two 4-year-olds, and a not-quite 7-year-old and headed out to see the sights. At the onset, “trippin’” was certainly less an explanation of intent and more exclamation of wonder, a.k.a. […]
We just spent a very confused moment staring at the caller ID that pops up on our TV screen and wondering how I could be calling us when I am sitting right here clearly NOT calling us. Turns out it was just my derriere dialing. Another attack of the butt dial. Butt-dialing is, of course, […]
Dear offspring, As we kick off the celebration of summer vacation, I feel it only fair to tell you: We are taking you off life support. All right, not life support, but electronic devices, which to your minds may be the same thing.
So, former high school students, today is your graduation day? Congratulations! Today is the first day of the Rest of Your Life, and all that jazz. First things first, let me get something out of the way: Adulthood is awesome.
Why is it that the so-called “big box” home improvement warehouses (named after the merchandise or their resemblance to big boxes, no one knows for sure) seem to rely solely on advertising their array of goods and services sold by experienced, industry professionals when, in reality, they are likely to offer neither in any great […]
Having been laid out like a limp rag with a stomach bug has given me plenty of time to think. First, I think the term “stomach bug” is a misnomer. This is more a Godzilla-esque stomach slayer armed with sticks and sharp knives and bent on killing me from the inside out. There may also […]
Regular readers will recall that I recently stalked, er, assisted, a woman in finding a home for her wayward goat. Eavesdropping in a local salon led me to a woman who had a goat that needed a home and there we were — a home in need of a goat. Can you can say “kismet?” […]
If I’d had any sense I would have started writing for this paper years ago. I could really have used the free subscription. When I tell people my home is furnished in Early Auction, they generally laugh and consider me quite the punster. In reality, that is very nearly true. Nearly every stick of real […]
Most women go to the beautician for highlights, lowlights, maybe a deep condition. Me, I go for livestock. There are numerous charming reasons why I know I live in a truly small town, but going in for a quick trim of the split ends and coming home with a goat surely ranks at the top. […]
As a veteran sports mom, I have logged more than my fair share of time on the sidelines of various youth sporting events. I love to cheer for the kids — mine and anyone else’s. Game time will generally find me clapping sedately as the action unfolds. I find that “nice hustle!” is an all-purpose […]
Upon ironclad confirmation that superstar golfer Tiger Woods had engaged in a pattern of marital infidelity of such scope, breadth and sheer numbers that one wonders how he ever found time to tee off, Tiger’s mother (and later Tiger himself) would say only that he “made one mistake.” Award winning Hollywood actress Sandra Bullock’s husband, […]
“Wherever you go, there you are.” First, let me state for the record that I fully realize that you have only petty, first world problems if the extent of your trouble is the fact that the fancy navigational system in your automobile won’t allow you to find swanky ocean-front locations with quite the speed you’d […]
If I should ever have to evacuate in one of those horrible “you have 10 minutes to take anything of value and get out” scenarios, you will find me out in the car. I’m going to let my husband handle it all. I’d get out with one toothbrush and vase. Mr. Wonderful could probably fit […]
If I have learned anything from my years as a Scout Parent — first with Cub Scouts (cute) and then Boy Scouts (cute, but gangly and sometimes smell funny) — it is that all the wrong people are earning badges around here. If you are a scout parent you soon learn that the boys earn […]
As if Andrew and Rita didn’t do enough damage, pity the great state of Florida which now has the Seabolts to contend with. When the unexpected but delightfully generous offer of a beach-front condo dangled in front of us, we jumped on it. Granted, with the spate of midwestern blizzards that have beleaguered us lately, […]
Exactly one day after agreeing to purchase our ancient wreck of a house, we discovered, as do many young marrieds, that the good Lord had a much bigger project in plan for us: our first baby. This sped up our original “five year plan” of home renovation considerably. Indeed, we spent the next six months […]
Eating used to be so much fun before food snobs ruled – and ruined – the world. For generations, down home cooking like pies and gravy (or pies WITH gravy) vied for buffet space next to burgers, fries, and an ice cold shake. Sure you always had your fancy types with their steamed salmon and […]