Apparently when you become a mother they install a device on your person that keeps track of all your offspring’s belongings at all times. This makes sense when children are infants and not as capable of keeping track of their things. A person working on holding his or her head up and rolling over really […]
I’m not going to get any smarter — ever. I know this because I went ahead and picked at the wallpaper. That is always a bad idea. There is never a moment when you peel off a little bit of wallpaper and that improves a situation is there? Any rookie knows this. You don’t “just” […]
His story almost ended before it had a chance to begin. There is a small black and white photograph that served as a reminder, tucked in to the oldest photo albums of the many that were created over a happy life. In this picture, a very simple-looking, bare-bones tractor lies tipped over, lying in water. […]
There is a four letter word that has wreaked more havoc and cost me more money than any other word in the English language. That word is “just.” It’s not a swear word, but it probably should be. “Just looking.” “Just going to see what we might get into here.” “Just going to be a […]
Mr. Wonderful refers to most teenage boys with designs on his daughter (aka all of them) as “the one with the hands.” He further categorizes them as “the other one with the hands.”
As we closed the door on yet another beautiful September, life shifts into a different gear. My hubby baled up a fourth crop of hay and put it in the barn on a gloriously sunny final Saturday of September. Our sweet daughter came one day and helped me organize and clean up the garage, the […]
A month ago an editor friend replied to a draft copy of one of these weekly efforts with the simple email comment: “You’ve got to be kidding.” My reply assured him I wasn’t kidding because, “No one, not even me, can make this stuff up.” For example, could you make up the fact that when […]
Lately I’ve had a lot of time to stop and smell the roses. I’ve been taking the slow lane, enjoying the scenery. No, I’m not enjoying a newfound sense of Zen peace. I’m playing driving instructor to our 16-year-old. We paid a nice driving school a hefty sum to teach him in classroom and in […]
Farm boys learn quickly.
I am the least-likely athletic parent you would ever want to meet. I was the two left feet, poor eyesight, quintessential last kid picked. My playground days were spent hanging around the swing set, not swinging a bat to the skies. It’s the ultimate irony of the universe that someone like me would give birth […]
When my children started preschool I wanted to be involved. Being new to the community and eager to crack the code that would grant me access to the inner circles of small town life, I said yes to everything. By this, I mean the party planning, parade coordination, craft procurement and general commitment to the […]
I took the standard boatload of back to school photos of my children this year. There are the requisite posed photos on the rock we have used since they were infants. The rock is a perfect photo spot. No matter what the state of the yard, with a bank of trees behind it, the rock […]
Forget hypochondria, the Internet can make a cyberchondriac out of a molehill – or melanoma out of a mole.
“She is four years and 364 days old and she is spinning away from me like a leaf on the breeze.” I wrote that nine years ago on the day we signed our daughter up for kindergarten. I found it today, on the eve of her freshman orientation. She is now 14 years and 118 […]
I am happy to report that my “send a watermelon to camp” program is coming along nicely. We have come to the realization we are just too lazy to eat healthy while camping. If fruit is sliced, diced, chopped and bagged we will eat it right up. If not, well, we carry so much food […]
For years we have happily ignored our county fair as something one enjoys hearing about from other people while blissfully avoiding the cost and stress for themselves. It’s like international travel. I want to thrill to your stories of working a mission in South Africa precisely so I don’t have to go to any trouble […]
So you want to be King? It helps immeasurably to be born into the Royal Family so you can mark that off your “to do” list Royal Baby. Well done! Fame. Now, you probably don’t realize it yet because you’re an infant and, as such, permitted to sleep on the job, but most people aren’t […]
Since the onslaught of 40 days of rain, the term “French drain” has been whispered in my ear. Let me assure you, it is not as sexy as it sounds.
Last week I wrote of how graciously Mr. Wonderful took it when I accidentally bumped our (read: his) custom boat trailer off a post. I am proud to say how nice he was about the whole thing. He didn’t get upset or call me careless or dumb (both of which would apply). He knew I […]
We have recently been beset by a plague of First World Problems. First World Problems are defined as issues that arise from living in an industrialized nation that pale in comparison to the real troubles of the inhabitants of less industrialized cultures. (Example: If you are living in a mud hut on a war torn […]