Between a rock and a fit place

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fitness watch

I absolutely love Christmas. I love the season, the hype, I even love (some of) the commercialization of it.

I like foods shaped like snowflakes and Santa hats. I like peppermint. I don’t know what a sugarplum is but I feel fairly confident I would like that too.

Giving and receiving

I love reasonable giving and receiving. I love the spirit of the season from beginning to end. This year the children are old enough to take their own hard earned money and shop for gifts. This is an exciting time. I am a parent who doesn’t want them spending all their hard earned money on gifts (that’s our job).

Socks and towels

I ask for socks and dish towels and they roll their eyes and say “mom really?” In this vein GirlWonder, enjoying her first year of solo shopping, said she was at a loss for what to get me. She and her adorable boyfriend, known as Golden Boyfriend  (you’d have to see him to know how spot on this is) spent hours shopping together.

Digging through the endless choices in accessories, fashion, household goods and more, she said she finally said to Golden Boyfriend  that “I don’t know why I’m stressing this. I could give my mom a rock with a face on it and she would love it and think I was amazing.”

Easy to please

I mention this story to set the tone: I am very easy to please gift-wise. If you thought enough to buy me a gift. I’m thrilled. Still, despite my incredibly low standards, Mr. wonderful, bless his heart, almost always manages to hit it out of the ballpark.

He has gifted me most memorably over the years with two beautiful children, a wonderful life, a camera I cherish to this day, and a pretty kicking laptop.

Terrible gift giver

I, on the other hand, am pretty much a terrible gift giver. I want a list with links directly to the item if necessary. I’m probably still going to mess it up. I tend to blurt out “I have the receipt” before the recipient has even fully opened their gift.

Fitness watch

However, this year I was uncharacteristically less than enthused with my main gift.  I made the mistake of saying something about a new fitness watch commercial being clever and that’s what I received for Christmas. You know you’ve been married a good long time when your spouse feels comfortable giving fitness as a gift.

Thank goodness I didn’t remark upon a puppy commercial. Let it be said that it was a very generous and thoughtful gift. I appreciate the thought behind it 120%.

Poor match

It’s just one of those rare gifts that was doomed to be a poor match for me right out of the box. I don’t wear big bracelets or watches of any kind. Ever. I would particularly never choose anything that looks like a house arrest bracelet that nags you to run.

Still, I gave the Fitbit Surge a chance. I put it on and wore it around for 24 hours. Mr. Wonderful thought it was nifty. My girlfriends, more honest in matters of style, basically admitted that it was “awfully large.”

They were being kind.

Weight loss

Maybe the real angle of this thing isn’t weight loss but rather than when wearing it every other part of your body will automatically look smaller in comparison? Meanwhile, also on Christmas morning I opened a box from GirlWonder to find a rock with a face painted on it. It was adorable. The rock had real personality.

I loved it so much, particularly when she told me the story behind it. Her knowing her mother loves anything she cares enough to give me is wonderful.

The rock

It’s also interesting because 23 years ago her father dropped a rock in my purse to prove to me that I had no idea what I was carrying around in there. Weeks later when I still hadn’t discovered it, he confessed, we laughed, and I continued to carry that rock for years after.

It is meaningful that our daughter, unaware of this story, would say with confidence “I could buy my mom a rock…”

Continuing the story

I will add it to the original rock and continue the story. Meanwhile, I ended up returning the very generous fitness watch.

First, it’s not my style. Second, I think it’s broken. I wore it for almost 24 hours and I’m still not fit.

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Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.

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