Can I get a re-run of my 29th birthday?


We are (too) fast approaching yet another 30-something birthday and let me assure you the new has worn off.
This year, I think I will celebrate this milestone in my life by looking toward the future – mainly by obsessing over the statistics to see how much longer I have to live. It turns out that if all goes well I can expect to be around for about 39.5 more years.
Middle-age. What this means is that at this point I have almost officially reached the point of being middle-aged. Unfortunately, I am totally unprepared for my mid-life crisis. Shouldn’t I, at the very least, get a comb-over and a Corvette to go with that?
The typical mid-life crisis cliches aren’t very helpful. My husband is absolutely darling and quite possibly the only person on the planet capable of putting up with me for any length of time, so the idea of trading him in for a trophy spouse is out.
I’m also unable to afford a sports car, so it appears I’ll be spending my mid-life crisis tooling around town in a mini-van. Obviously, I’m off to a bad start.
Look to the stars. As with most things in life, there is only one obvious solution, I must look to the stars. Movie and television stars, that is.
Think about it: these people are amazing. You’ll see TV footage of some star who’s been out of the news for a few years, and overnight they’ve morphed into this middle-aged person.
Or worse yet, a senior citizen – with the startling exception that most of their face is rather


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Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.