Expect little and get way too much


Clearly, the problem is that I expect too much.
I expect, for example, that my cellular telephone might actually make telephone calls.
What it would prefer to do, however, is take pictures. Or access the Internet, send e-mail, play solitaire, remind me of a dental appointment and keep track of my mileage.
The only thing it doesn’t do with any reliable predictably is send or receive calls.
Certainly it is comforting to know I can take endless photographs of myself, lip curled in frustration as I am abruptly disconnected and e-mail them to friends and family, but that thrill can only take you so far.
In the house, too. I have the same problem with any number of appliances, undoubtedly because I am a technological idiot.
I don’t care what the “newest, fastest, and most powerful” of anything is.
I just want whatever device I am forced to trudge out and purchase to perform to the best of its abilities in the manner in which it was originally intended. Is that too much to ask?
I would like my blender to, say, blend things. It needs – at best – to blend, whip, and perhaps – cutting to the chase – have a pi


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Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.