One potato, two potato, three potato, 400 potatoes

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potatoes

I’ve been hosting and making Thanksgiving dinner for roughly 25 years. That’s a lot of turkey. Accordingly, you would think I would have it down to a science. You would be wrong. Every year without fail I make lists and check them twice. I wander the grocery aisles like I don’t understand how the most basic menu works. It’s meat and potatoes with some carb-laden side dishes. Undaunted, or more like VERY daunted, I will simply revert to the ways of my people and make enough food to feed roughly 100 hungry mouths — even if we are hosting eight people.

Potatoes

Thanksgiving fascinates me because it’s the only meal that feels incomplete if we don’t have two types of potatoes. No other day do I think “what these mashed potatoes need is a side of sweet potatoes — with marshmallows.” On that note I don’t know why potatoes get such a bad rap in the lexicon. Derogatory phrases such as “couch potato” need to be retired. What have potatoes ever done to deserve such derision? They are the MVP of foods. They never let us down. Frankly, it should be an honor to be described as one.

I love food and I love to eat food. What I don’t love is to make food. Not daily anyway. It just feels so monotonous. I am noted for having said to our children “didn’t I just feed you YESTERDAY?” It just seems so hard to come up with fresh menu ideas. At some point we just plain burnt out on “taco Tuesday!” Perhaps that’s why it’s so comforting that Thanksgiving dinner remains basically unchanged across decades.

I love reading old recipes for inspiration. This, however, is a dangerous game. The 1950s were a heyday of wacky culinary combinations. If anyone has ever had a mid-century cookbook you know they loved gelatin and mayonnaise way too much. They approached the use of both those ingredients as one might approach the use of garlic: put it in everything in reckless amounts. Jell-O, in particular, seems to have spent a small fortune to convince people that their product went with ANYTHING — including mayonnaise, tuna and olives. Yes, really. It’s like the people in the Kraft test kitchens all had a three martini lunch, went back to the office, and just winged it. “So we’re gonna tell ‘em to combine two packages of vanilla pudding, three cans of tuna, a jar of Vicks Vaporub and a maraschino cherry. Presto! Holiday delight!” Bonus points for preparing it in a copper mold shaped like a fish.

Perhaps that’s why I overcook on holidays? I am all about the leftovers. Thanksgiving dinner is expensive — but it’s technically like six meals over the next few days so we have that to fall back on. I make a huge turkey so we have turkey for DAYS. That is the joy of the holiday is it not?

Wait

Of course, like families all across this great nation I have spent so much time planning, prepping, hunting, and gathering for Thanksgiving dinner that as of today, I don’t think I can consider another meal. As I write this Thanksgiving is one week away. We are actively in the phase where no one can eat anything in the house without asking first. Even the adult male who technically bought all the things still has to consider every single edible item in our home as if it might be part of a recipe. I also have a stash of food in various areas such as the barn freezer, house refrigerator and so on. We are basically going to be living on cereal until the big day. I might let Mr. Wonderful nibble a carrot, but only one. I need the rest for the salad.

The bounty and ability to overcook is a blessing. I know this. I will channel my beloved Gram and l bake approximately one pie per person — that feels right. I will also think we need something else. A nice chocolate dessert maybe? Whatever your dessert delights, don’t forget the ice cream, whipped cream and the stretchy pants.

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