Skip the big stuff, make sure your boat name rocks


Skip the big stuff, it’s the trivial things that matter. At least it’s that way for some of us who leave the earth-shattering and life-changing news to those who like to worry, and instead, lean more to solving less meaningful puzzles.

Tontimonia Shell's Candy boat
How fun! Naming a boat is all about calm, peaceful and untroubled time afloat. (Mike Tontimonia photo)

For example, how does one climb a flag pole to paint it? How do airplanes “land” on water? What does the combination of letters and numbers on that personal license plate mean? Why do drivers put filthy and gross bumper stickers on their vehicles? Is it just to prove to the world how stupid the driver is, how few real words they know, or maybe to bark about the fact they can’t keep a job?

Now you know why we wonder who owns a boat with a catchy phrase tattooed on its hind end. We care and ponder because it really doesn’t matter.


But it’s fun. After all, in the never expanding world of trivial pursuit, naming a boat has become an art, if not just plain fun. Keep in mind that naming a boat is a one-time event because it sticks. But the challenge to us thinkers of minutia is to figure it out because boat names are statements, real, albeit small, windows into the life of a boater. Indeed, it tells all we need to know about the person on board.

Money Talks might be the boat of a banker, investment counselor or a maybe a gambler. How about the name of Happy Hooker? Is it the craft of an avid fisherman or could it be…? Boat names ring loud with hidden meaning, they double over in doubletalk, and they often make Pig Latin seem like preschool language arts.

Guess what? The No. 1 boat name chosen by boaters, who thought they had an original, is Serenity. How unimaginative is that? Of course, boating is relaxing and a boat, especially if it’s paid for, is where relaxation happens.
In fact, according to BoatUS, the keeper of such important stuff, the name Serenity has been solidly in the top 10 in the last 20 years, more than the Yankees have been in the World Series. No. 2 this year goes to Seas the Day, and No. 3 is Andiamo, meaning “Let’s Go” in Italian. Aquaholic is a very clever No. 4 and Second Wind finishes in fifth place.

The final five making up the top 10 for the year go to Island Time, Happy Ours, Journey, Serendipity and Relentless.

What’s in your boat’s name?

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Mike Tontimonia has been writing weekly columns and magazine features about the outdoors for over 25 years, a career that continues to hold the same excitement for him as it did at the beginning. Mike is a retired educator, a licensed auctioneer and marketing consultant. He lives in Ravenna, Ohio and enjoys spending time at his Carroll County cabin. Mike has hunted and fished in several states and Canada from the Carolinas to Alaska and from Idaho to Delaware. His readers have often commented that the stories about his adventures are about as close to being there as possible. He is past president of the Outdoor Writers of Ohio and a member of the Outdoor Writers Association of America. Mike is also very involved in his community as a school board member and a Rotarian.



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