Wanting balance


I was at the checkout magazine rack, too cheap to buy, yet eager to learn how Angelina Jolie is going to balance celebrity, saving the world, motherhood and photo ops.
Who could resist? I was about to flip open an issue to catch up on our generation’s answer to Mother Teresa, when I noticed the cover of a competing publication – “balancing career, family and you.”
New theme. Then, in a true “mob mentality,” a third cover called to me, singing the siren song of promise to “balance work and home life.” That’s when it hit me: Balance is the new “in” thing.
This year’s “basic black.” Balance, my friends, goes with everything!
Want it all. All appearances to the contrary, I want to live a balanced life. I do. I want to make the world a better place for animals, children, and people who are woefully unable to merge into traffic properly.
I want to find my passion, run barefoot through meadows, dance in the rain (a warm rain – cold water makes me cranky), fly kites and cure something.
I do want to earn oodles of money working, say, four ours a week from home in my spare time. Take exotic trips to far flung nations in order to bring the plight of the oppressed to the forefront of the media.
If I should manage to, say, get my photo on the cover of Time – or E! News – while at it, more the better.
Most importantly, I want to do all this, yet never be too busy for valiant service as head homeroom mom.
I’d be all over it, I swear, if I could just get a handle on all this laundry piling up.
Pushy. The trouble with balance is that it’s so


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Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.