Columns

For me, Christmas morning can't hold a candle to one of these rare October dawns when the sun is not quite up and the dew is heavy on the grass and contrails play tic-tac-toe in heaven's splendid blue vault.

I wish there was a vaccine for parents, administered around the time their children start talking, that provided immunity to kidfluence.

As sure as the rooster crows every morning, someone will crow every farm bill year on how New Zealand's 1984 elimination of government farm programs has brought a never-ending dawn to Kiwi farmers.

What ever happened to "play nice?" News sources quote a Chinese safety official with the "General Administration of Quality Supervision, Inspection and Quarantine" (whew!) as saying that discussion with the United States over how much lead paint could be used in toys were being worked out by product safety officials in both countries.

This is the time of year that slows us down enough to enjoy the grandeur all around us. The leaves are absolutely stunning as the bright blue sky serves as their backdrop and the sunshine dapples the entire show with brilliance.

What does it feel like to face foot-and-mouth disease? What does it feel like to have your farm quarantined? To have an entire geographic region closed to animal movement? To lose generations of livestock genetics in the blink of an eye? To receive little compensation for dumped milk or for meat? For all we know about farming here in the United States, we know little about the terror, the frustrations, of farming in the midst of a major animal disease outbreak.

I passed the heavy "Cast Only" doors and muted harmony drifted from behind them, voices warming up. In the theater's darkened balcony, I sat down beside my spotlight.

During a long-ago interview, the great grandson of a Kansas homesteader noted that only a handful of the 40 or so families who staked out farms with his family a century before remained after three years of disease, drought and death.

The most common misconception in America today is that criminals are crafty, cunning and smart. In reality, I think most people turn to a life of crime because they are just too stupid to do anything else.

I was talking to a sweet woman one day this past week, and she mentioned that her little Westie dog is getting old and feeble.