Apparently, I have fooled some people into thinking I have my life “together.” That’s cute. I don’t, but it’s sweet of a few of you to think I do. I appreciate it. Then someone asks me for “life advice,” and I freeze up like a deer in headlights.
Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual — if it did, it would probably be missing half the pages, be in three different languages and have a note in the back that just says “good luck.”
Since we’re all winging it anyway, here’s some advice I’ve collected from personal experience, awkward mistakes and the kind of “learning opportunities” that usually require a stiff drink or, at the very least, a half gallon of ice cream and two spoons afterward.
Being an adult is generally amazing. I’m thrilled with it most days. I mean, sometimes it can also be terrible, but I still thank the Lord every single day that I don’t have to randomly try and climb a rope to the ceiling against my will in PE class and then go about my day like we did back in school.
1. Protect your time like it’s cake at an office party. Time is something you can’t get back, so use it wisely. People will always try to “just borrow a minute,” but they’re lying. It’s never a minute. Guard your calendar and make time for your PEOPLE, not just your projects and prospects. Make time for people who make you laugh so hard you snort, and be that person for others. Relationships are the ultimate long-term investment and bring better returns than cryptocurrency. “No” is a full sentence. Say “no” to too many commitments and too much “hustle.”
2. Treat your body like a borrowed vehicle that you actually have to return in good shape. Sure, you can run it into the ground, but you’ll regret it later. Move around daily, even if it’s just dancing in the kitchen to a song from high school. Try and eat things that grew out of the ground occasionally — not just things that were ground up and deep-fried. Life is about balance. Nutrition even more so.
3. Embrace the plot twist. Your “five-year plan” might turn into a “five-year sitcom,” and that’s okay. The secret to happiness isn’t avoiding detours, it’s pretending you meant to take them. Bonus: They give you better stories later. My entire career is built on this premise. Sure there are some things you are never going to “look back on and laugh at.” On the other hand, there are an awful lot of things you WILL. Find and embrace them.
4. Keep your word (and maybe your mouth shut sometimes). If you say you’ll do something, do it. If you can’t, own up quickly. Trust, once lost, is hard to get back. People can and should judge you on what you DO and not what you SAY you’ll do. On that note, think twice before speaking — or hitting send. Most sentences don’t need the energy of white hot anger behind them. Think. Ponder. Sleep on it.
5. Enjoy the tiny stuff. Don’t wait for a promotion or a vacation to be happy. The future may be bright, but you should always try and enjoy the now too. Inhale the smell of bacon. Enjoy finding $5 in an old coat. Celebrate the fact that your Wi-Fi is working (right now). These little wins keep life fun between the big events.
6. Don’t let fear drive (It’s a terrible driver). Fear will tell you “Don’t do it, you’ll fail!” but forgets to mention “or you might succeed.” Either way, you might have a great story. Make decisions from excitement, not panic.
7. Be kind — even when people are weird. Everyone’s fighting battles you can’t see — bad news, traffic, tragic haircuts. Kindness costs nothing and makes you feel smugly superior in the best way. “Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from.” I find silence can actually speak volumes when someone is rude. Let them own their words in silence. I don’t set out to make enemies as a rule, but I can honestly say I’ve never been hated by someone I would want to trade places with.
If you are wired for chaos and too often find yourself in the middle of “drama,” I am going to hold your hand while I break this to you: It might just be you.
You teach people how to treat you. If you are not changing it, you are choosing it. Embrace peace. Calm and boring should be a life goal. People say snoozefest like it’s a bad thing. I would attend a snoozefest no questions asked. Name your price.
In the end, life’s not about perfection — it’s about laughing at the mess, learning from it and trying again. And if all else fails? Eat dessert. Always eat dessert.
