OK, so celebrity parents are perfect


As if we needed further proof that celebrities are, in fact, pure evil, we have Gwyneth Paltrow nattering on in a recent issue of The British Mirror: “(Having a baby) changed the way I see the world,” she told a reporter. “I feel like it’s even changed my DNA. (My daughter) is such a good girl and so reasonable. I’ve never ever raised my voice or lost my patience with her once.”
Stone cold crazy. See, we’ve always suspected that celebrities aren’t just like you and me. Now we know this is true. Celebrities are stone cold crazy.
I say that anyone who says they have never lost their patience with a child simply isn’t trying. Spend a few hours with a child – any child at all – and I guarantee you will see how unreasonable the little demons can be.
Take my 6-year-old – oh, not forever, we would miss her


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Warm, witty and just a wee bit warped, Kymberly Foster Seabolt is a native of Kent, Ohio, who survived childhood exposure to disco and grew up to marry and move to the country. Her column weaves her special brand of humor with poignant, entertaining, and honest portrayals of parenting, marriage, and real life. She currently lives in northeastern Ohio with her husband, two children, two dogs, two cats, and numerous dust bunnies who wish to remain nameless.