It’s been at least a month since I did battle with wildlife. Thus, it is definitely time for another installment of my tried and true mantra: Nature is NOT to be trusted.
We just revisited the subject when a bat spent the night with GirlWonder — definitely WITHOUT her permission. Regular readers know that I love animals, particularly the kind I have INVITED to live with me, like dogs, cats, even the wayward goat.
It is the ones who wander along uninvited and make themselves at home in our homes that give me pause: bats, mice, snakes (shudder). Extra special are the animals in the news. Fortunately, they also give me endless column fodder.
Exhibit A is Kevin. This instance of nature run amok happened (almost) in our own backyard. For a period of time this summer, a peacock named Kevin was on the loose in our county. Often spotted but never caught, he was on the lam for two weeks before he wandered onto the property of a State Highway Patrol post. Read the room Kevin. That is NOT how we evade the law.
There, a brave trooper kept Kevin contained while dispatchers contacted his owner (peacock parent?). The trooper then chased Kevin into a clearing where the owner was waiting to sweet-talk Kevin back home with some feed. I get it. I, too, could easily be trapped by snacks. No word on whether Kevin was cited for running “afowl” of the law.
Frogs
Exhibit B is frogs and anything else capable of faking their own death to avoid anything they do not want to do. According to a study published in the Royal Society, researchers found that some female frogs essentially fake their own death to dodge potential mates. In fact, they are not alone.
Catatonic immobility to avoid mating or male harassment has been observed in dragonflies, according to scientists. Female readers will likely agree that while that may seem dramatic, any female who has tried to let a guy down gently knows sometimes feigning your own death might just be easier than turning down yet another coffee date or late night text.
Finally, while some wildlife may start out perfectly willing to remain conscious and mate for life, it turns out more than a century can seem a tad EXCESSIVE even to the most bonded pair. Two giant tortoises at an Austrian zoo, both born around 1897, learned that the hard way.
After more than a century of matrimony, things turned ugly in 2012 between the two tortoises. For no reason that anyone can discern, they woke up one day and seemingly decided that they simply cannot stand each other. I can’t prove it, but has anyone looked into whether the male half of the couple simply left his dishes in the sink one too many times?
The obvious disdain between the couple has not stopped experts from trying to mend fences between the long-standing couple. They’ve reportedly tried couples counseling. I, for one, am absolutely captivated to know what type of couples counseling one gives to TORTOISES? I may need to investigate this further. Placing blame in marriage is like saying, “Your side of our boat is sinking.” Still, how does one counsel reptiles?
As of 2019, the couple was still on the outs. Like many separated couples, they seemingly enjoy separate lives within close proximity of one another. There has been no reconciliation. “She hisses like a snake,” at him, we are told.
Still, the zoo has not given up. “We hope that they might find their harmony again.”
Look, I’m not an expert on tortoise marriages or reptilian relationships, but has the male half of the couple tried just picking up his little tortoise boots by the door and putting them away, or perhaps unloading the dishwasher by himself once in a while? That always works for me.
