I really think our family should come with some sort of warning. At the very least, a disclaimer: “We are more than family. We are like a really small gang.”
Our now adult children are engaged/married and have thus brought more team members to our crew. We love them all madly. We are equally sure they are concerned that they have married into some sort of renovation cult.
Six weeks ago GirlWonder and her HandsomeHusband purchased their first home. As is on-brand for our family, it is a 150 year old fixer-upper. In this short span of time we have indeed fixed it up. Floors were refinished, ceilings removed, drywall installed, doorways found and about 17 acres of old paneling construction debris carried out by hand. It has been exhausting, filthy, startling and, above all else, rewarding. It has literally been a family affair. It’s amazing what we can accomplish if we give up sleep and any commitment to a healthy diet.
I have always been FASCINATED with the sibling relationship between my own children. While they certainly have had their spats over the years, I feel like they are unusually close. The rare occasion that someone tossed a bag of potato chips at another person’s head notwithstanding.
I also know that the relationship has grown stronger now that they no longer share an address. There was a time in their teen years that should her brother — a habitual shower sleeper — use up all the hot water right before his sister needed a shower, it was an all-out declaration of WAR.
Sure, growing up they were HUMAN. They fought and they argued, they got on each other’s nerves and the next minute were the best of friends. Nonetheless, as they have grown into young adults I have seen them grow closer and look to each other for support more than ever. Underneath it all is a foundation of love and belonging to one another’s lives in a way that is beyond words. There is a reason families are likened to trees. We grow in different directions yet our roots remain as one. Each of our lives will always be a special part of the other.
A friend, speaking of BoyWonder’s unflappable and reliable demeanor, said “Well he was BORN 40 years old after all.” We laughed because in some ways it was true. He was 22 months old when we carefully placed his newborn sister on his lap and said “She’s your baby too.” He took that to heart like nothing I could ever have imagined. As he grew he seemed keenly aware that how he treats his sister tells her how she will expect to be treated for the rest of her life, even as far as her boyfriends and now, her husband. He is a person who takes his position as a role model very seriously. He shows up in good times and bad. He is the one to fly out the door to “save” her when she was stranded on an icy highway.
On the flip side it is an established fact that any female interested in dating him had to first pass muster with his baby sister. If GirlWonder didn’t approve, a young lady wouldn’t last long.She was not mean spirited about it. Her heart was in the right place. She just knew her brother better than almost anyone else and knew what traits would — and would not — be a good fit. I guess you can kid yourself but not your sister. A few years ago he met the woman of his dreams and we soon realized she was ours too. I once said to him “You’re my firstborn child and only son. We’ve had a good run but don’t make me choose between you and your amazing girlfriend.” They are now engaged and we simply adore her.
There is a quote that says “Brothers are like streetlights along the road, they don’t make distance any shorter but they light up the path and make the walk worthwhile.” This is fitting as BoyWonder drove five hours round trip on more than one occasion to help with his sister’s house. He left his own unfinished projects to do so. One minute you are covering all the outlets so your toddler doesn’t touch them. A blink and a half later your “baby” is a fully fledged electrical engineer. He spent his birthday removing old wiring in order to install antique lights in his sister’s equally antique ceiling.
It is said that in most cases siblings know each other’s hearts, share private family jokes, remember family feuds, and share secrets, grief, and joy. In kindergarten, GirlWonder brought home her drawing of “the thing that makes me happy.” It was a carefully crayoned stick figure of her brother.
