It has come to my attention that somehow I have given birth to a person who, of her own volition, gets up on her day off and long before sunrise to swim laps, lift weights and do cardio. She then comes home and does some yoga, later in the day she may take a quick run.
She further claims that getting up to work out before sunrise is her “me time.” See, my “me time” involves my girlfriends, a good book or a margarita, but you do you baby girl.
Our son, for his part, is always running around doing active-type things. Kayaking, high-speed water sports, soccer, lifting weights and hiking. He is also big on venturing off, solo, to places far and wide. His passport is his pride and joy.
Obviously there is only one explanation for this: these are not my kids. Differences. Somewhere, very active people are wondering why their children just want to sit around and read books. Then they open their mouths, my attitude comes out, and I realize they are related to me after all.
Nonetheless, imagine my surprise that I, a valid sloth of a person, has given birth to active types. I blame Mr. Wonderful for this. He’s just the kind of marathon running, skiing, water sport and hiking kind of ne’er do well who enjoys this sort of thing. His default speed is “hummingbird.”
I enjoy passive activities such as listening, reading, watching things and, only if necessary, walking at a very slow pace, preferably on pavement.
I don’t even like the term “book worm” because “the early bird gets the worm,” and I’m not about anything with the word “early” so prominently featured.
The active lifestyle is the one everyone claims to love.
BoyWonder recently accepted a very nice paid internship following a college job fair. He was granted a dinner interview almost immediately upon handing them his resume.
While his education and credentials are impressive, so are those of many of the other attendees. Collegiate job fairs aren’t exactly full of slackers.
He was told, point-blank, that what pushed him ahead of the pack, was being an Eagle Scout.
However, what the interviewers really honed in on was that he had traveled solo to Australia. He said that during the dinner interview that fact was remarked upon — repeatedly. He simply kept repeating “I like to stay busy.” He was hired within 12 hours.
Speaking of busy, Boywonder drove a two-hour round trip for a comedy show the other night. He arrived home around midnight and shortly after left to go out again with a second group of friends. He came home around 5 a.m. and left a note: “Make sure I’m up by noon for Chad’s wedding.”
I would have had to sleep for a week.
GirlWonder stayed up all night gabbing with girlfriends, went straight into work at 8 a.m. and said “had a blast and one hour sleep, but still going strong!”
Meanwhile, if I push back my 9:30 p.m. bedtime by even a few hours, I barely function for days.
I miss my 20s.
They work hard. They play hard. They workout hard.
Just today, GirlWonder was up and at her university’s pool before 7 am to swim.
I’m currently laying in bed writing this because getting up and putting on pants seems hard.
If you ever find me in a swimming pool at 7 a.m., please do call the police. I have been the victim of a hostage situation or homicide, and it is definitely a crime scene.
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