‘Tis the season when those of us who live in the heart of the country know that when someone says they are bringing a “salad” for Thanksgiving, it rarely means vegetables. Lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers all tossed together is what most people think of when the term “salad” is tossed around. Here in the heart of America, we know better.
When planning holiday side dishes, our salads generally mean Jell-O. There is also room for a sort of apple meets Snickers bar concoction that some fancy folk will also call a “salad.” What this means is that if someone says they’re bringing a salad, you’d better confirm what kind. It is important to confirm they aren’t bringing a crime against humanity like lime gelatin mixed with tuna, peas and green olives. I blame mid-century ad marketing for those sort of abominations.
It is funny to me that I can cook and bake (I really can). On my first foray into taking a dish to my in-laws, I was assigned a Jell-O salad. I took an orange pineapple fluff concoction out of a magazine. It was a hit. So for the next three plus decades I’ve been bringing “Kym’s Orange Jell-O Salad.” It was only a year or so ago that they trusted me to also bring some baked goods.
There is always dissent on whether gelatin salads are, in fact, to be served with dinner or dessert? Newbies might be shocked to find a mixture of whipped topping, gelatin and marshmallows sitting proudly among leafy green salads. On the other hand the strawberry gelatin, cream cheese and pretzel crust is proudly labeled both a “dessert” and a “salad” depending on your family standards and tradition. Rumor has it that some potlucks have nearly come to fisticuffs over whether Jell-O with suspended canned fruit is a salad or a dessert.
For my people, it is served with dinner. I ate so many Jell-O salads growing up, I’m surprised I have blood running through my veins. If you cut me, I’m convinced you might find a layer of canned fruit and mini marshmallows.
I personally draw the line at shredded carrots in gelatin although, oddly enough, I don’t mind celery. Cottage cheese is sneaky. I like cottage cheese in some gelatin salads and not in others. For me, it works with lime but not with strawberry. I don’t make the rules. Cream cheese, on the other hand, goes with every flavor.
GirlWonder loves pretzel salad. Pretzels, strawberry gelatin, frozen strawberries, cream cheese and cool whip come together in a sort of salty sweet perfection. I make it every year just for her. To be fair, she eats exactly one serving but this mama will always make it with love.
If you are invited to a potluck and tasked with bringing “a salad,” failure to understand the assignment can lead to real issues. If you are expected to bring a Jell-O salad and instead bring an actual green salad, expect to be treated as if you brought tofu turkey to a carnivore Thanksgiving. In the words of one long-time Midwesterner “the last thing my salad should have in it is greens. Salad is what MY food eats.” Another friend says the only green she wants to see in her Thanksgiving fare is pistachio whip. Fruit should be canned in heavy syrup before addition to any self-respecting holiday dish.
Of course, for purists, there is a seven-layer salad that is actually vegetables, but what makes it really good is that there is an extremely high probability that the health benefits of those greens are balanced by a thick layer of mayo, cheese and bacon.
